dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Books:

I just finished Penric and the Shaman, so Penric’s Mission is up next! I am also “in the middle” of several things in that I have not yet accepted that I am never going to finish them so they are still in the “currently reading” category on Goodreads, but I am thinking that the New Year will probably be a good time to make a clean sweep of those.

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am not going to finish the Read Harder Challenge. Maybe next year? 2017 is bound to be… not 2016, right? *knocks wood*

Books finished:

Penric and the Shaman (http://ift.tt/2h8fXVF) by Lois McMaster Bujold

This is the second in the series, after Penric’s Demon, and, oh man. <3 <3 <3 There are THE BEST DOGS and also I burst into tears at the climax and also an excellent line about the Son of Autumn and who belongs to him. <3 <3 <3

Ice Planet Barbarians (http://ift.tt/2d3me07) & 

Barbarian Alien (http://ift.tt/2h8hr1P) by Ruby Dixon

I KNOW I KNOW BUT THEY’RE ACTUALLY KINDA… GOOD? AWESOME??

These are the first two of 11 or so books, following the fate of a dozen young women abducted by aliens from all over the US (and one from Canada) and whisked off to space to be… sold, probably. Six of them are put in cryostasis by the aliens, but several more are packed into a cage in a cargo hold, aware of their fate and abused by their guards. In Book 1, Ice Planet Barbarians, our heroine is Georgie, who takes the lead on a plan to fight back, which… kind of succeeds, in that Georgie bludgeons an alien guard to death. Unfortunately, they can’t go on to take over the ship because they’ve been jettisoned from it, abandoned on a harsh ice planet in the jammies they were wearing when the aliens abducted them from their beds. 

And that, obviously, is when Georgie strikes out to scout for food/shelter/help and meets a seven-foot tall blue alien dude who realizes instantly that she is his perfect match for making babies with! :D :D :D 

(No seriously though they’re ACTUALLY GOOD? AND KINDA ADDICTIVE?? TW for rape & multiple deaths in the first book though.)

Fics:

I have ten fic tabs open, including “The True Repairman Will Repair Man” (http://ift.tt/2bx2oJI) which is on part 16/? and needs a reread, as the Plot Is Thickening. :D

Fics finished:

(A sampling of stuff I’ve bookmarked recently–you can see all my bookmarks at http://ift.tt/2bFC4A9)

Something Like This by @emmagrant01 (http://ift.tt/1oHy0BG) Check, Please! Jack/Bitty, Parse/OMC. Complete, as of today, at 280k. <3________<3 If you need a huge long immersive Jack-and-Bitty-getting-together story, complete with Parse also finding true love along the way, HERE IT IS. AU before Jack and Bitty got together in canon, and featuring a demisexual Jack, which was catnip to me. Gorgeous. 

Weary World Rejoicing by @annakovsky (http://ift.tt/2gd0a3f) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, post-”The Gift” apocalypse AU. This fic is just about 13 years old, but I think of it every time I hear “O Holy Night” and this year I actually went and reread it. Oh, everyone. (Then I read the sequel for, I think, the very first time, and OH EVERYONE ;______; and also I spent many confused minutes afterward pawing through the Wikipedia article on the Fisher King, hoping to make things make sense. Which, ha ha, why would a grail legend make sense of anything ever.)

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I have no idea where this week went. Did I write anything? When? I have no idea. 

Luckily the spreadsheet knows these things for me, so…

WIPs currently active: 7

Words written this week: 4,740

WIPs that got no words this week: 0

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 661, and I’ve… nearly figured out how the next bit goes. Nearly.

Born in the Blood: 342

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 476, and I stopped at the point where I have to decide how much longer this story is going to be. SUSPENSE FOR EVERYONE.

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of (for @notwithoutyoufanbook): 1,950, and I actually made myself cry writing the last bit I worked on, so… that bodes well, right?

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 202, but I realized at 2AM last night that the story is in the wrong POV, so. Two steps forward, six steps back. :D

[More Different Secret Exchange Story]: 701

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 408

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I am finally, in the year 2016--2017, actually--going to have fic appearing in a zine! Except we're calling it a "fanbook" and/or a "Stucky anthology" nowadays, apparently.

Still! Not Without You is going to be a thing, and I will have a story (the one I refer to as "Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of" in WIP status updates) in it! There's going to be a Kickstarter to fund printing it in full color, since it involves 300 pages of fic and art--digital copies will be $5, print copies start at $25 with other extras available at higher tiers.

You can sign up here to get an email when the Kickstarter gets going, or if you're on the Tumblrs you can follow the link above to the blog and follow there!
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So, FUNNY STORY, back around the same time that I started doing my weekly WIP status update posts, I also started doing What I’m Reading Wednesday posts, and then in mid-September I stopped doing the What I’m Reading posts and never started again and I am FINALLY GONNA TELL YOU WHY. AND ALSO WHAT I AM READING:

an early name used for videophones by [archiveofourown.org profile] easyforpauline.

And the thing is, I read the first three stories in the series back in September and it just BLEW MY MIND?? and I knew I HAD TO write about it in my What I’m Reading post but I just COULD NOT EVEN FIND WORDS, because it’s just–

It’s so–

It’s like hardcore kink and surrealism had a baby, I guess? It just DIVES ON IN with Bucky sleeping on a table and Steve washing his mouth out with soap and spitting on him and WELL OKAY THEN, OFF WE GO, and by the time you get to Bucky fucking an arcade game and setting Steve a kinky ingredient sex challenge it’s just like. Well, yes, of course, this is how they roll, I’M IN. 

Except, underneath the PROFOUND WEIRDNESS that is like nothing else I’ve read and the IN MEDIAS SUUUUPER HARDCORE D/S RELATIONSHIP LIKE HOLY SHIT MAN, there is so, so much love, and such a deeply intimate portrayal of a Bucky recovering along his own path, and a Steve who also has a lot of healing to do, and a love between them that makes it possible for them to be exactly this weird and brutal and just keep on going together, and it is gorgeous.

So–yeah. Ugh. It’s amazing. It’s brilliant. I know there are a million alarming tags on it–some of them gave me pause, I definitely passed it by while browsing one kink tag or another more than once–but, ugh, I am telling you, give it a whirl. It is so well done and also SO WEIRD in a way I cannot even do justice to. I NEED YOU TO READ THIS SO I CAN WAVE MY ARMS INARTICULATELY AT MORE PEOPLE ABOUT IT.

PLEASE. READ IT FOR ME. AND THEN COME YELL ABOUT IT. BECAUSE !!!!!!????!!!!!!

And now that I have FINALLY discharged my desperate need to rec this series (a fourth story came out and I read it just now, so it’s timely and everything) I will go back to updating you on a weekly basis about other stuff I read, but… I’ll do a separate post for that. This one definitely deserves it own.

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Hey! There is now kinda sorta a pairing in this series! At long last!

By all means let us focus on that and not the trainwreck happening in the tags, although you should definitely also... take a look at that before you click.


Sink Right to the Floor (48185 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 9/9
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Past James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Helen Cho, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Dummy (Iron Man movies)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Suicidal Thoughts, suicide planning, Despair, Depression, Food Issues, Chastity Device, Genital Piercing, Outpatient Self-Surgery, Genital Injury, Blood, Medical Procedures, Memories, Flashbacks, Hopeful Ending
Series: Part 4 of All These Burning Hearts in Hell
Summary:

Steve's first several days in Stark custody, running roughly parallel to "Lying on a Marshmallow" and "The Pillow Box."

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Someday I will learn that writing does not really happen while staying with family during the holidays. Someday.

WIPs currently active: 7, because I finished one secret exchange story and then started another, along with Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION).

Words written this week: 4,097, which is up from last week by a whopping 29 words.

WIPs that got no words this week: 0

WIPs that did get words this week:

[Secret Exchange Story]: 285, and finished! and will be posted someday, somehwere, SECRETLY.

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 696

Born in the Blood: 696 (not a typo, I somehow managed to hit the exact same word count for both these stories this week AND it also matches the numerical designation of one of my favorite freeways!)

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 375

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 607, exactly 1,000 words less than last week! I am ALL ABOUT weird numerical coincidences this week, I guess?

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 229

[More Different Secret Exchange Story]: 1,061

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 148 

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So I cried less this week but did a lot more floundering around figuring out what I’m writing in the wake of finishing Slavefic #4 last week. Which is a tradeoff I am happy to make, really.

WIPs currently active: 6-ish. Approximately.

Words written this week: 4,069.

WIPs that got no words this week: 0

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 570

Born in the Blood: 403

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 452

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 1,607

[Secret Exchange Story]: 813

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 224

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Well. This week was… a week. Honestly I’m proud of getting any writing done at all. And I find I’m having a very hard time reconciling my firm philosophical belief that People Need Stories, always, especially in Times Like These, with actually unplugging from Current Events to do the damn writing. But. Onward!

WIPs currently active: 4. Because I finished Slavefic #4!! I suppose technically that means Slavefic #5, of which I actually have non-zero words written although I’m not sure how many I’m keeping, automatically becomes In Progress now but let me just enjoy my tidy and svelte little WIP list for a minute, okay?

Words written this week: 6,618. And I did manage to write every single day, Monday to Saturday. Including the day of and day after the election. Yay?

WIPs that got no words this week: 2, the broken dick epic & Born in the Blood - more a result of pushing to finish the slavefic and having arrived at places that require some thinking for each of those than Current Events, but… back to the salt mines tomorrow.

WIPs that did get words this week:

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 5,556 and now it is done! And off to beta! And will get posted… eventually!

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 23

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 1,039

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First week of NaNoWriMo! Not 100% a success in terms of my, er, very high personal goals, but definitely a very good week for writing in general!

WIPs currently active: 5. Because I finished “When You Have to Go There” (http://ift.tt/2fE8iyK) and STILL haven’t started anything new, although I am starting to feel like I should. Onlly five things in progress! MADNESS.

Words written this week: 9,403, although only 7,550 in November so I am slightly behind NaNo pace. I GUESS I’D BETTER WRITE MORE NEXT WEEK. :D

WIPs that got no words this week: 0, for the fourth week in a row!!

WIPs that did get words this week:

When You Have to Go There:  3,886, done and posted!!

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 149

Born in the Blood: 159

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 3,621, only one chapter to go, oh god, this is going to actually be finished soon????

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 399

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 1,189

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Because, dammit, Sam should get a turn being the one who falls apart and is comforted by his boyfriend and everyone else around them.


When You Have to Go There (16444 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Characters: Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff, T'Challa (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Depression, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Wakanda, Woobie Sam WIlson, Sam is not okay
Summary:

It had never crossed Sam's mind that he might end up on Wakanda's doorstep the way Steve and Natasha had ended up on his a few years back: battered and on the run, seeking refuge. Even less had he ever imagined that if he did, he would be welcomed in.

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Ha! I remembered before the end of the day! Good work me!

WIPs currently active: 6. Because I finished “And Besides, It Would Still Be All Right” (http://ift.tt/2f4shRY) and for the second week in a row, didn’t start anything new. o.O

Words written this week: 6,542, not bad for a four-day writing week. (Also, wrote over 30k in October so far, so it’s my fic-writingest month so far in 2016!)

WIPs that got no words this week: 0, for the third week in a row!!

WIPs that did get words this week:

And Besides, It Would Still Be All Right: 768, done and posted!

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 643, including what I think is a very important turning point, but since I’ve been working on it mostly during the one-hour daily blitz of adding words to every wip, I pay attention to this story for about six minutes a day right now and it… needs some rereading to see if I did that coherently. *g* 

Born in the Blood: 460

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 1,708

Post-CACW woobie!Sam/Steve: 1,260, sooooo close to being done. So close.

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 946

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 757

(One of my three NaNoWriMo goals this year is to do 50k of fic in November, so… hopefully that will translate to some stuff getting finished and other things moving along at a brisk pace?? Check back next week to find out how that works out!)

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A rare excursion into (sorta) het: Ace domme Natasha and lonely pre-CATWS Steve doing femdom BDSM. Title by Leonard Cohen, tag synopsis workshopping, beta, and general support from Medved and feanorinleatherpants!

And Besides, It Would Still Be All Right (4443 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Characters: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov
Additional Tags: Platonic BDSM, Platonic Sex, Asexual Character, BDSM, Caning, Choking, Breathplay, Leashes, Panties, Steve in Panties, Verbal Humiliation, Subspace, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Lonely Steve Rogers, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Femdom, Nipple Torture, Crying, Hotel Sex, Aro/Ace Natasha, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Aftercare, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sleepovers
Summary:

Steve and Natasha weren't lovers like that.

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Less-belatedly announcing the fic I posted last week (on my birthday!):

Then the Letting Go (3315 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Omorashi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Dom/sub, Gentle Dom Steve, Kneeling, Cock Warming, Wetting
Summary:

"I don't want this to hurt. But you're staying where I put you."

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Belatedly announcing this ficlet--Chapter 3 went up a couple of weeks ago and I forgot to post here!

Chapter 3 is a fill for the following prompts from over at Tumblr: Threetoo bathing. Tony washing his hair. Lots of good touching. :) ; BUBBLE BATHSSssssssssssss ; seconding bathing! ; Threetoo getting a bath? Traumatic flashbacks optional.

The Pillow Box: Collected Slave-verse Tumblr Fics (7112 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 3/?
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Stark Robots (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Master/Slave, Hurt/Comfort, Kneeling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Rewards, Bananas, Robots, Weight Issues, Food Issues, Bathing/Washing
Series: Part 3 of All These Burning Hearts in Hell
Summary:

Collected ficlets from the All These Burning Hearts in Hell 'verse, starring Tony and Threetoo with Threetoo's pillow nest in a supporting role. Prompts for each ficlet in the chapter's summary.

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
How is October almost over already?? I was supposed to have my shit fully together by the end of October. But… still chugging along at a respectable pace, at least!

WIPs currently active: 7. Because I finished “Then the Letting Go” (http://ift.tt/2dPiDlW) and managed to NOT START ANYTHING NEW. YET.

Words written this week: 8,940, which is not as good as last week but still pretty hard to complain about! :D

WIPs that got no words this week: 0 again, thanks to embracing my brain’s “random shuffle” function as a way to get work done.

WIPs that did get words this week:

Then the Letting Go: 1,466, and finished, and posted! :D

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 579, bring the total up to a new exciting round number milestone: 160,027!

Born in the Blood: 992, and Chapter 10 is humming along (sorry everyone who thought Chapter 9 ended on a cliffhanger?!)

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 1,295, bringing the total to 37,524, and I finished a chapter!! Only like… three more to go? Ish?

Post-CACW woobie!Sam/Steve: 1,382, current total 11,152, and getting into “wait, where exactly was I going to end this??” territory. (I mean, I totally have a plan, I swear. It’s just… a bit vague in spots.)

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 1,091

Ace!Domme!Nat/Steve PWP: 985, and also suuuuper close to actually finishing! :D 

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 1,150, plus an evening of interrogating @dancinbutterfly on how to write Jewish Bucky since I am a liiiittle out of my religious/cultural wheelhouse there. :D

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At long last, a writing week I am pretty pleased with. o.O

WIPs currently active: 8. Definitely 8, although there are a few things lined up to write next once I finish some stuff. 

Words written this week: 10,230 :D :D :D That’s such a good number, I like that number. :DDDDDDD

WIPs that got no words this week: 0, thanks to discovering the “how many WIPs can I add 100+ words to in an hour” game and WINNING IT with the answer “ALL OF THEM.”

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 498, bringing it to a total of 159,428.

Born in the Blood: 741, which brought me to the end of Chapter 9! Which is now posted!!

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 2,693, bringing the total word count to 36,228. I managed to hit a “hey I’m actually gonna finish this eventually” turning point while also realizing that this story will probably double the word count of the series when I post it.

Post-CACW woobie!Sam/Steve: 2,462, current total 9,769, and I am also going to actually finish THIS story in the not-too-distant future!!

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 1,148, and they have even actually met now! So I guess this is a real story?!

Gentle Dom!Steve/Bucky Omorashi PWP: 262, but I had avoided it for two weeks because I was convinced I’d gone horribly wrong with it and now I am unstuck!! Unlike Bucky, he is feeling… pretty stuck right now. Aw, Bucky.

Ace!Domme!Nat/Steve PWP: 949, and this is getting FUN. PWPs! I had forgotten that they were a thing! :D

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 1,477, holy shit NOT FUN (mwahaha). I keep thinking I know how sad it is and then start writing another new bit and realize it’s sadder than I thought. 

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GUYS I FINISHED THE FUCKING BATHTIME THING. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENED THIS WEEK, I DON’T CARE, I FINISHED SOMETHING.

Ahem. Um. Numbers, I have some numbers.

WIPs currently active: 8? Maybe? Or.. 9? IDK, I may have started a new thing and dusted off some old things and generally lost control of this situation.

Words written this week: 4,731

WIPs that got no words this week: 2, woobie!Sam and omorashi PWP

WIPs that did get words this week:

Pillow Box Fill #3 (Bathtime): 1,564 and now it is DONE and POSTED.

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 226, which… sadly is more than last week?

Born in the Blood: 1,144

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 1,182

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 19, okay, so…

Ace!Domme!Nat/Steve: 18 …you know how sometimes you stare at a story for a while and you tell yourself to just. write. one. sentence? Yeah, I had a day this week where I wrote a total of 37 words by doing that TWICE….

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of: 578 …so then I started a new story?

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Dear Yulewriter!

Hi there! I am DELIGHTED that you love one of these things I love! Please, please remember that optional details are optional and write what makes you happy!

Some things I like, not necessarily all in the same story:
-Hurt/comfort, heavy on the comfort, recovery from past/canonical Bad Things
-Domesticity, quiet moments
-Porn (where appropriate & illustrative of character/relationship, NOT REQUIRED AT ALL!)
-Kink & kink negotiation (as above, NOT REQUIRED PLEASE DON'T BE ALARMED IF IT'S NOT YOUR THING!)
-Cuddles, blankets, coziness, etc.
-Characters being smart and perceptive

For any of these characters, I would totally love to read anything from a quiet moment together to a wildly kinky PWP (erm, within the constraints of the characters' histories...) so, really, write the story of your heart, and thank you in advance!

And if you have any questions, feel free to ask [personal profile] iulia (iuliamentis on twitter and tumblr). She knows what I like and she's good at keeping secrets from me!

My specific requests:

Chalion Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold (Penric kin Jurald, Desdemona) )

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (Guinevere Pettigrew, Joe Bloomfield) )

Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat (Damen, Laurent) )

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (Phryne Fisher, Jack Robinson) )

The Shawshank Redemption (Andy Dufresne, Ellis Boyd (Red) Redding) )
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…Okay so this week was worse for writing, but also included the bit where I had an epiphany that I can have a good day as, like, a person, even if I don’t have a good day as a writer, so. That was cool? Anyway! Writing:

WIPs currently active: 7. Because I am SUPER SERIOUS about not starting any more new things until I finish some of the shorter ones I have in progress. SUPER. SERIOUS.

Words written this week: 2,232

WIPs that got no words this week: 1, How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 126

Born in the Blood: 656, and finally on to a new scene! woo! exciting!

Slavefic #4 (the one about Steve): 185

Post-CACW woobie!Sam/Steve: 775

Pillow Box Fill #3 (Bathtime): 248, and a whole new idea about what is happening in this story because I continue not to understand the concept of “fluffy easy side ficlet.”

Gentle Dom!Steve/Bucky Omorashi PWP: 142

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Tada! The sexy consensual Steve/Bucky ageplay that no one asked for! :D

Start All Over (in a Little Bitty World) (18520 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Age Play, sexual age play, Daddy Kink, Consensual Kink, Homegrown Kink Practices, In-Scene Kink Negotiation, Bathing/Washing, Virginity Roleplay, please and thank you, Spanking, Corporal Punishment, Face Slapping, 1930s Parenting, Dom/sub, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bruises, Cuddling & Snuggling
Summary:

Steve had been all of nineteen years old, frustrated with the obvious pretense of dominating Bucky when he barely came up to Bucky’s shoulder, even though they both desperately wanted it to work. He’d snapped, “This is stupid, Buck! I couldn’t really boss you around when you were six years old!”

Bucky, without hesitation, had said, “I’ll be five, then. Come on, here, I’m five.”

He’d folded to his knees and looked up at Steve for the first time with Jamesy’s eyes, spoke for the first time with Jamesy’s voice, and said, “Mister? I need somebody to look after me.”

Steve hadn’t always done the best job of it, but God, he’d tried, and he’d loved trying. He wasn’t ever going to quit trying.

December 2016

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