dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
You know how sometimes your dash Does A Thing, putting two posts next to each other that add up to something else?

The contrast between the evening Chris Evans is having (watching the Pats win the Super Bowl) and the evening Sebastian Stan is having (posting a photo of protests against the authoritarian government of his native Romania) are… really striking. 

(I don’t have a pithy conclusion to draw from it, just–aw, these two dudes who I am irrationally emotionally invested in for the same reason, having very, very different evenings tonight.)

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Actually a pretty good week!

WIPs currently active: 5

Words written this week: 6,289

WIPs that got no words this week: 1, the broken dick epic

WIPs that did get words this week:

Born in the Blood: 1,909, and lo, that was Chapter 11.

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 2,461, all of them horrible (for the characters).

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 756, bringing it to a total of 4,821 words, but I swear it’s getting close to the end now. Ish.

Fandom Tr*mps Hate Auction Story That You Are Gonna Love Why Are You Backing Away Like That No Really It’s LOVING AND CONSENSUAL AND NON-INJURIOUS BECAUSE SUPERSOLDIERS Cannibalism: 1,163

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
An improvement over last week! Best week so far in 2017! (In, uh, this one narrow and personal sense.)

WIPs currently active: 5, because I started my Fandom Tr*mps Hate story which you will all be SUPER EXCITED ABOUT I AM SURE??!!?

Words written this week: 4,174

WIPs that got no words this week: 0

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 135

Born in the Blood: 2,963, which has gotten me not quite to the end of Chapter 11 but VERY CLOSE, so update should be coming soon!

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 384, which got me to the end of a scene and now I am trying to figure out how to most effectively showcase the horrible place the story has arrived at…

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 260, still nowhere near done at over 4,000 words, because I still have no idea what a ficlet is.

Fandom Tr*mps Hate Auction Story That You Are Gonna Love Why Are You Backing Away Like That No Really It’s LOVING AND CONSENSUAL AND NON-INJURIOUS BECAUSE SUPERSOLDIERS Cannibalism: 432, so if anybody was wondering how far into 2017 I would get before finding a new and different horrifying thing to try and make people follow me into, the answer was less than three weeks. Settle your bets accordingly.

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Books: I’m currently in the middle of Hoarfrost, by Jordan L. Hawk (about which more below) and have Wanted, A Gentleman by K. J. Charles waiting to be read next. Also Midnight Riot by Ben Aaronovitch, for next next.

Books finished:

Necropolis (Whyborne & Griffin, #4) (http://ift.tt/1hnB01P) and

Bloodline (Whyborne & Griffin, #5) (http://ift.tt/1tpYXtb) by Jordan L. Hawk

I’d read the first three books in this series last year, and my highly efficient system of letting a random number generator pick my next book to read from my Kindle Library means I just got to the bundle of Books 4-6 the other day. I won’t spoil (BOOK FIVE IS THE GREATEST THO), but I’ve been devouring them LIKE A SHAMBLING HORROR FROM THE DEEPS–

Ahem. If you’re not familiar–they’re set circa 1900 in a town called Widdershins, Massachusetts in a universe of Lovecraftian horror. Whyborne is a scion of a wealthy founding family of the town, and Griffin Flaherty is a former Pinkerton detective who recently spent some time in an asylum due to a brush with a nameless horror of the night in the course of an investigation in Chicago.

OH AND IT’S A GAY ROMANCE? Whyborne and Griffin fall in love and continue fighting monsters, human and otherwise, throughout eight books so far, while also dealing with their own assorted issues and traumas and learning how to carry on a relationship. ALSO THEY ADOPT A MARMALADE CAT. IT IS GREAT.

Fair Play (Hat Trick, #1) (http://ift.tt/2j6ShT5) and

Two Man Advantage (Hat Trick, #2)  (http://ift.tt/2klUPK8) and

End Game (Hat Trick, #3) (http://ift.tt/2j6RQs2) by Samantha Wayland

Oh man, I was SO CONFUSED by the structure of these when I started reading the first one, but it goes like this: in the first book, Garrick and Savannah get together (and Garrick admits he is bi and Savannah admits that she finds it SUPER HOT to hear about him banging dudes). In the second book, Savannah has to be away from Garrick for a while and tells him if it’s okay if he sleeps with a dude in her absence as long as he tells her all about it, and Garrick proceeds to fall in love with said dude (but is also desperately, passionately still in love with Savannah). In the third book, OT3!

Also there is hockey and some wacky over the top drama in the A-plots and HIGH OCTANE tragic childhood background for Garrick and Savannah’s woobie boyfriend. I could wish that the second book’s plot climax didn’t hinge on a false rape accusation (and I kind of feel like the author was also wishing that by the third book) but I really love the series overall.

Fics: I don’t have ANY fic tabs open due to the “using backup computer” situation, but I made a list instead and there are 11 fics on it. Plus 36 fics Marked for Later on Ao3. And 52 bookmarked with the “To reread” tag.

Fics finished:

back seat drive by @silentwalrus1 (http://ift.tt/2j4Ffnr) MMMMMMYES, so good. Post-everything Bucky/Steve, with a Bucky who is still finding his footing in life and a Steve who just wants to give him whatever he needs. Or wants. IN BED. And also in fast cars. 

The Right Partner by Nonymos (http://ift.tt/1AQdEpv) This is more than a year old, but I just ran across it and read it for the first time. Virgin Steve decides that maybe the right partner is whoever you choose–and when Natasha offers to help him out with that, he decides to go for it.

Patience, a Steady Hand by @helenish (http://ift.tt/Ylu2wu) This is that Inception AU where Arthur is a berserker Viking and Eames is a monk abducted during the pillaging of his monastery, claimed by Arthur as a slave. Warning for, you know, all of the consent problems created by abducting and enslaving someone for sexual use–but the consent situation evolves and changes in really nuanced and ultimately satisfying ways.

(Also, on this reread, I realized how incredibly well this works if you know nothing about Inception and think of berserker Arthur as Bucky and artistic virgin monk Eames as Steve. Just. Putting that out there.)

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
What even happened this week? I spent the weekend traveling to/attending ConFusion in Michigan, and I think most of the week disappeared under a rising tide of anxiety about going to the con as An Author, which, as with most things, was a bit anticlimactic. Anyway. I also did some writing in there somewhere! 


WIPs currently active: 4, still.

Words written this week: 2,445

WIPs that got no words this week: 2, Born in the Blood and Slavefic #5

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 2,122, which got me to the end of Chapter 43. Total word count is now 166,190, and there are probably… twenty-five chapters to go? ish? I have no idea.

Pillow Box #4, Sam: 323, Sam and Threetoo have now laid eyes on each other! Progress!

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Another not-great week in writing, alas.

WIPs currently active: 4, because I finished my Sam/Steve Exchange Story! After dragging my feet a lot and not working on anything else because I was supposed to be working on my exchange story, oops. 

Words written this week: 3,675

WIPs that got no words this week: 3, Born in the Blood, Slavefic #5, Pillow Box #4.

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 56

Holding Fast (my @samstevegiftexchange story!): 3,619, done and posted!

from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2jzmMOl
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Written for [tumblr.com profile] count-the-stars for the [tumblr.com profile] samstevegiftexchange!

Holding Fast (3670 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Established Relationship, BDSM, Dom/sub Play, Sub Sam Wilson, gentle dom Steve Rogers, Biting

Sam is used to playing hard with Steve, but after everything he's been through recently he needs something a little different.

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
A far, far distant prequel to the Cabin in Greenland OT3 curtainfic, "Look About (All the Stars Are Coming Out)."

Two Young, Savage Things (10151 words) by Dira Sudis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Bruce Banner/James "Bucky" Barnes, James "Bucky" Barnes/Hulk
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Hulk (Marvel), Bruce Banner
Additional Tags: Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Hulk Sex, Hulk Smash, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captivity, Rough Sex, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Size Difference, Size Kink, Not using the blood of our enemies as lube, Flashbacks, Protective Hulk, Smart Winter Soldier, Canon-Typical Violence
Series: Part 1 of All Eternals Deck

How the Winter Soldier met the Hulk. (It is not a story for children.)


Jan. 10th, 2017 10:33 pm
dira: Gwen Cooper, in profile (Gwen - Flyaway)
This seems like a good habit, and a good antidote to a just-crushing-enough-to-be-very-distracting headache. So! Five things I'm grateful for tonight:

1. My apartment with heat included in the rent is nice and toasty despite the cold wind that is literally rattling the windows.

2. My new book is selling well and nine lovely people have reviewed it on Amazon!

3. This long and complicated and lovely Teen Wolf a/b/o fic which made an excellent antidote to all the adulting I had to do today.

4. The grocery store had the tub of freshly-packed shredded roast chicken AND the bread freshly baked with roasted garlic, so my inability to actually assemble components into proper meals did not deter me from having a tasty and semi-respectable dinner tonight.

5. The lovely [personal profile] alby_mangroves' really good and helpful beta on the fic I will be posting Very Soon Now, once I am done carefully considering whether the Winter Soldier SHOULD be carrying more knives, and what I was even trying to say in that really muddled paragraph....
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
…Not such a great week for writing, for an assortment of reasons. 

WIPs currently active: 5, because I did not finish anything except the story that I wrote in a single shot so it was never a WIP. 

Words written this week: 3,056

WIPs that got no words this week: 0

WIPs that did get words this week:

Your Head Nestled Beneath My Chin (from the All Eternals Deck/Cabin in Greenland OT3 AU): 1,289, written and posted all in one shot. :)

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 220, SO CLOSE to the momentous bit!!

Born in the Blood:  119

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 512

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 118

Secret Sam/Steve Exchange Story: 798, still very Not Done. Ohhhh dear. O____O

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Speaking of writing gay werewolves for money!

THE ALPHA’S HOME will be officially released on January 5!!

An omega forced to mate an alpha he hates turns to his beta best friend for help to escape–but the only way out is to be stolen by another alpha.

Grant Denny is an omega who never wanted an alpha mate. He doesn’t want to be a sex toy for an entire pack, even if the alternative is to go through the agony of full moon heats locked up alone. But the choice has been taken away from him–he’s been given to Cliff, an alpha he can’t stand, who is keeping him in a remote cabin along with Jack, a beta who is his best friend, packmate, and the only person he’s ever wanted.

Jack Merritt is trapped in his wolf shape by the cruel alpha who claimed Grant against his will, and took Jack along with him. Jack has loved Grant forever, and he’ll do anything to stay with the omega–but Grant begs him to run away at the first chance, to try to find some way they can both escape before Grant’s heat arrives and forces him to submit to the alpha. Jack would do anything for Grant, but leaving him behind is the hardest thing he’s ever done.

Mike Gilford has been an alpha werewolf for half a year now, and he’s ready to find a mate and start a pack of his own. He never imagined that he would find them like this–a lost wolf, hurt and helpless by the side of the road, and the trapped omega he leads Mike to rescue. Mike only wants to help, but the moment he meets Grant the pull between them is undeniable–and terrifying to Grant, who is trying to escape from being bent to an alpha’s will.

Grant and Jack need a pack’s protection, and Mike is willing to give it, but can he keep them safe without keeping them prisoner? Can Grant learn to trust that Mike isn’t like the alphas he’s met before, and that his destiny as an omega isn’t the doom he’s always feared? With the full moon and Grant’s next heat on the way, there’s not much time for three wolves to make themselves a pack and find their way home…

There's also a teaser scene up on Tumblr! I still have a few advance copies available, let me know if you want one! :)
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Scope note: Anonymous exchange fics are included in the Year in Review for the year in which they were revealed, so this post includes my Yuletide 2016 story, which was revealed before midnight on December 31 in my time zone. I am including the two WIPs I've posted to AO3 this year, and will also include them in future Years in Review for years in which new chapters are posted.

This year I posted 20 complete stories + 2 WIPs in 3 fandoms totalling just over 235,000 words, which made for a possibly even more mono-fannish year than last year, which was my most mono-fannish to date. I am getting fandom-monogamous in my old age, apparently. (I mean. Apart from writing gay werewolves for money, and so on.)

This year's titles quoted from Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2), Dan Fogelberg (2), Bleachers, Leonard Cohen, Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Alan Jackson, Mission: Impossible, The Mountain Goats, Stan Rogers, Taylor Swift, and X Ambassadors.

Fic list )

Fic review meme )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Actually a pretty good week for writing! Which is not what I expected to be saying as of, say, Wednesday.

WIPs currently active: 5, because I finished TWO stories this week and finally got started on my Sam/Steve Exchange story!

Words written this week: 6,338

WIPs that got no words this week: 0

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 294, which has got me moving toward the momentous bit! 

Born in the Blood:  168

Ring the Bell Backward (for @notwithoutyoufanbook): 1,933, and FINISHED, which is good because it is due soon and oh hey the KICKSTARTER LAUNCHED TODAY AND HOLY SHIT IT’S ALREADY BLOWN THROUGH FOUR STRETCH GOALS??? YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS.

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 1,283, and ALSO FINISHED and will get posted… someday. Soonish. Probably. Things are a little hectic this week.

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 497

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 1,884, and 3300 words into the story Sam still has not laid eyes on Threetoo. I… definitely am having trouble with this whole “ficlet” concept.

Secret Sam/Steve Exchange Story: 279, haha guess what I will be FRANTICALLY WRITING this week. O_____O hooboy deadlines sure are a thing!

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
…for, you know, archival purposes. Keeping track of dates is hard at this time of year, okay.

WIPs currently active: 6

Words written this week: 5,187

WIPs that got no words this week: 2, broken dick epic and Pillow Box #4: Sam

WIPs that did get words this week:

Born in the Blood:  121, ugh starting a new chapter ugh

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of (for @notwithoutyoufanbook): 666, because I hit that number and it seemed like a sign to stop there. :D

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 225

Slavefic #5 (THE DRAMATIC REUNION): 4,175

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
One last bit of Whose Body? that needed to be shared–this comes from quite near the end of the book but, out of context, doesn’t spoil anything: it’s a neurologist speaking to a WWI veteran who has recently suffered a nervous attack, a recurrence of his shell-shock. There’s a long diagnostic interview where they discuss the particular stressors that contributed to the attack and the patient’s history of such attacks, what caused them and what didn’t, and then the doctor proceeds to tell the patient about himself “in quite untechnical language.”

This book was written in 1923, which made it remarkable to me how thorough an explanation of the neurology of triggering and flashbacks it provided–and made available to any reader of mysteries in, say, the 20s-40s, regardless of what treatments were available.

“Well, now. You know quite well that the strain you put on your nerves during the war has left its mark on you. It has left what I may call old wounds in your brain. Sensations received by your nerve-endings sent messages to your brain, and produced minute physical changes there–changes which we are only beginning to be able to detect, even with our most delicate instruments. These changes in their turn set up sensations; or I should say, more accurately, that sensations are the names we give to these changes of tissue when we perceive them: we call them horror, fear, sense of responsibility and so on.”

“Yes, I follow you.”

“Very well. Now, if you stimulate those damaged places in your brain again, you run the risk of opening up the old wounds. I mean, that if you get nerve-sensations of any kind producing the reactions which we call horror, fear, and sense of responsibility, they may go on to make disturbance right along the old channel, and produce in their turn physical changes which you will call by the names you were accustomed to associate with them–dread of German mines, responsibility for the lives of your men, strained attention and the inability to distinguish small sounds through the overpowering noise of guns.”

“I see.”

“This effect would be increased by extraneous circumstances producing other familiar physical sensations–night, cold or the rattling of heavy traffic, for instance.”

(The doctor then goes on to recommend avoiding triggers forever rather than a program of careful exposure and desensitization to them, but he has some ulterior motives for that and anyway the patient ultimately does not take his advice.)

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dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Tumblr was being uncooperative for… some portion of yesterday, okay.

Books: I started a Lord Peter Wimsey reread so I’m currently in the middle of Unnatural Death. And after surveying my entire TBR list of Kindle books to determine if any of them would satisfy the “book over 500 pages” category in the Read Harder challenge, I picked Gambled Away to read next–it’s 600 pages of historical romance novellas in which somebody is won/lost as stakes in a game and currently on sale for 99 cents! (http://ift.tt/2gTmfsg)

Books finished: 

Whose Body? (http://ift.tt/2hvIt0j) &

Clouds of Witness (http://ift.tt/2hvIt0j) by Dorothy L. Sayers

These are both rereads, though I think it’s been ten years since I read the entire series, so I was able to be surprised all over again by a few things (I posted a few favorite shippy bits from Whose Body? (http://ift.tt/2hh1Fme) and I need to type up the neurological explanation of PTSD and triggering that it includes–for something written in a popular detective mystery in 1923 (and therefore not including the words “PTSD” or “triggering”, of course) it was remarkably congruent to modern understanding, which makes me think about what avid reader from the 1940s might still have those ideas rattling around somewhere…

Anyway. Brilliant & highly recommended, of course.

Hold Me (http://ift.tt/2fzFzKn) by Courtney Milan

You guys heard all about this yesterday. )

Fic: I currently have 10 fic tabs open, 41 things Saved for Later on AO3, and, oh, look, here comes Yuletide… O___O

Fic finished: 

(A sampling of stuff I’ve bookmarked recently–you can see all my bookmarks at http://ift.tt/2bFC4A9)

Where Is Thy Sting? (http://ift.tt/2hgUc6E) This is a WIP on the hydratrashmeme, but it’s up to part 11/? so you get a pretty satisfying chunk of story, and I think it’s pretty accessible to non-trash readers. This is an AU where Steve is found in 1947 and reunited with Peggy–and then, in 1954, Bucky is found as well, already having suffered a significant degree of programming (and significant abuses, including sexual), and Steve and Peggy are there to try to help him recover. The POV is Peggy’s, and I love everything about this perspective and this version of bringing Bucky in from the cold, her relationship with Steve, all of it. <3

Green Ice by Adina (http://ift.tt/2hvIu4n) I don’t think I ever realized that there was an expanded/completed version of the story that first appeared in Yuletide 2006, so I got to cry over Bertie all over again! For those not familiar, this is a Jeeves & Wooster/Lord Peter Wimsey crossover that seeks to reconcile the very different ways two mystery writers in the 1920s addressed the effects of the Great War on their military-aged main characters–Sayers delves into Peter’s trauma, while Wodehouse cheerfully ignores the whole bally thing. Which works as long as it’s allowed to work, and then…

Psychic AU (Hotel Heart & Safe as Houses) by Laughsalot3412 (http://ift.tt/1Ut7Kcj) Leverage OT3 where, as you might guess, psychics are a thing–Hardison is an empath who loves computers because they don’t feel things at him, Parker is a thief who uses her TK to assist her in jumping off of buildings, and Eliot… Eliot has been hurt and needs a team, even if he doesn’t realize it in the beginning. Rated T and there is indeed no actual sexual intimacy (the unexamined aceyness of the relationships is fascinating to me) but it’s tagged “Mind Rape” for Eliot’s pace and also for a lot of things that go on between Eliot and Hardison with dubious consent of the “no go ahead it’s fine, DAMMIT HARDISON I SAID IT’S FINE WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT” variety from Eliot. SO DELICIOUS. 

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dira: Allison Argent, smiling delightedly (Allison - Smile)



I lost most of yesterday to reading this book and being emotionally compromised by it--it made me cry repeatedly, but, you know, in the awesome way.

It’s a het romance where the hero is a bi/pan dude of Thai and Chinese descent and the heroine is a Latina transwoman, and NONE OF THOSE LABELS ARE WHAT THE STORY IS ABOUT.

Instead, it’s a “love each other online/hate each other in real life” story where the hero’s asshole behavior isn’t magically erased by apologies and I love yous--where there’s nothing as simple as a silly misunderstanding that can be quickly cleared up, because it all matters, and the characters, knowing each other online and off, good and bad, choose to struggle through their respective issues and the ways they’ve hurt each other because love matters too, and in the end, love--real love, flawed and human, brave and determined love--wins out.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Shhh no it is definitely still the 18th SOMEWHERE. Ahem.

WIPs currently active: 6, because I deactivated [More Different Secret Exchange Story] (which, if/when reactivated, will be no longer secret or an exchange and will be known as “Magic Mike/TJ Hammond crossover”) in anticipation of getting started on [Sam/Steve Secret Exchange Story], although I haven’t actually started that one yet. SO. Still at six.

Words written this week: 8,442 - best writing week since the first week of NaNoWriMo! :D

WIPs that got no words this week: 1, Pillow Box #4: Sam, and… honestly I think Sam is happier this way. Aw, Sam.

WIPs that did get words this week:

Codename: Aluminum Bastard (aka broken dick epic): 605, which got me unstuck on the difficult part and now I am putting off the fairly-straightforward-but-enormously-narratively-momentous part!

Born in the Blood: 945, which finished off Chapter 10! (http://ift.tt/2hyV45N)

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of (for @notwithoutyoufanbook): 588

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 1,344, hahaha oh god I am so sorry what even is this 


from Tumblr http://ift.tt/2hz2ANW
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
WIPs currently active: 7

Words written this week: 5,386

WIPs that got no words this week: 1, Aluminum Bastard (I am… genuinely stuck on this next bit, looks like. /o\)

WIPs that did get words this week:

Born in the Blood: 150

Saddest Steve/Bucky I Could Think Of (for @notwithoutyoufanbook):  123, and, uh, I should probably get a move on there. It’s almost done! I swear!

How the Winter Soldier Met the Hulk: 1,149, careening toward being done!


[More Different Secret Exchange Story]: 275, and prrrrobably not gonna get finished in time to actually be secretly exchanged, although, hey, anything could happen, right?

Pillow Box #4 (Sam): 1,266, once again raising the question of whether I understand the whole “ficlet” concept.

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