dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Swiped from a bunch of people on my flist, and I figure I didn't quite go anywhere but other than fic updates I've been pretty quiet, so...

So what have you been up to?

I'm just about three months into being on the Adderall, which has been super helpful although not miraculous and not, like, magically removing all constraints on my ability to accomplish things. ALAS.

So: I've been up to writing, mostly, a lot by any sane standard but still not as much as I'd like given how many irons I have in the fire.

Also, thanks to the slow accumulation of flist people's mentions of using treadmill desks to knock some of the sedentary rust off, I finally accepted that my preferred mode of exercise is Pretending I'm Still On My Couch. I can't actually manage a treadmill desk right now--shared apartment, logistics, etc.--but I got myself a gym membership and have started popping over there about six mornings a week to walk briskly while playing games on my phone or reading ebooks or fic, etc. And, hey! That whole "excercising gives you more energy" thing turns out to be true! I just... had to be on Adderall for a month before I had the starting energy/general wherewithal to find that out.

Oh and I joined OKCupid. I have this sort of baseline desire to get into some sort of romantic relationship, but I hate Going Out And Doing Things With Strangers, and I kept feeling bad about failing at that part and finally realized that I don't like going out and doing things with strangers and there are, theoretically, other more efficient ways to meet compatible people who want to do dating-type things.

Mostly this has demonstrated to me that I am already operating at full capacity to deal with other human beings. *eyes unanswered OKC messages* So... that's good to know?

Oh and there was VividCon! ...which also demonstrated to me that I am already operating at full capacity to deal with other human beings. I had been feeling vaguely anxious and stressed about the con beforehand, which is... not usually how I feel about VVC, and then I got to the con and felt stressed and overwhelmed and signally failed to hang out with all the people I wanted to hang out with, and finally wound up hitting the Introvert Wall late Saturday/early Sunday and bailing out early (after [personal profile] iulia took charge of my Sunday afternoon volunteer shift and told me to just go home).

Oh also I tested positive for strep throat on Wednesday and had a couple of days off work. Hooray antibiotics!

Major life changes? Same old same old?

Writing for money! Writing for money has been kind of a large feature of the last few months, coinciding pretty strongly with the arrival of my constant sense of being overwhelmed and operating at full capacity for dealing with other human beings. The extra disposable income is really nice, but it turns out that having what amounts to a second job takes up time/energy/spoons/writing brain. WHO KNEW.

There are further major life changes on the horizon--Iulia is expecting her first child in October, which means I will be a godmother! And also the only vaguely local extended-family-ish person my godchild has around, so I expect some delightful life upheaval there.

And not unrelatedly, I am at long last getting Really Quite Serious about relocating to the greater Chicagoland area, hopefully in the first half of 2016.

With all of that going on/on the horizon it is... perhaps less surprising that the new Cap 3 promos were legitimately upsetting to me this week as a reminder that my fannish territory is also going to be undergoing an upheaval soon.

What fandom are you in/do you spend most of your time in?

Marvel/Cap 2! I have fallen especially into the Hydra Trash Party corner of the fandom. Content aside, it's one of the most old-school-fan friendly parts of the fandom in terms of being able to connect with a community of fans--there's a chat room, a DW kinkmeme with a chat post, and an identifiable group of writers and artists who are pretty reachable via Tumblr.

But, you know, also making Bucky cry is fun, even if it leads to things like, "Man, I am eventually going to post 25k of male lactation fic with a complicated pairings situation and alarming set of warnings to the AO3." Could've been worse, really.

Where do you hang out online?

Twitter, Tumblr, trash chat, that other chat room I've been hanging out in since 2005, Skype IM which is apparently a thing (I'm dsudis on there), and AIM/YM/etc.

What are you reading?

One of the exciting things about extra disposable income is that I feel okay casually buying ebooks--I use the Kindle Cloud Reader & Kindle phone app, and virtually the only books I've finished since May have been short-ish romances: Sarina Bowen, K. J. Charles, Alexis Hall. Right now I'm reading Courtney Milan's The Duchess War, and then I need to read a book that was made into a movie for my staff summer reading competition at work. I might just read The Martian for the third time.

And also fic? I haven't been reading huge quantities, but there's a pretty steady accumulation in my AO3 bookmarks.

What are you watching?

Every scrap of promo media related to The Martian! :D :D :D

Oh and I just started on Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries which is DELIGHTFUL and reminding me that I am 100% an easy mark for canon het. Phryne/Jack!!!!!

What are you making?

My desktop note that I use to track WIPs currently has ten items on it:

Original/for money: Vampire novel that I am waiting for edits on from Less than Three (Dira Lewis); ridiculous tropey gay werewolf ebook (Dessa Lux); sequel to vampire novel (Dira Lewis); tropey het ebook (redacted).

Fanfic: Aluminum Bastard/broken dick epic; Babyfic prequel to the trash kidfic; trash kinkmeme fic; more different trash kinkmeme fic; Spy Game post-movie fic; sequel to that fic I wrote where Steve's wearing a pink silk chemise.

So... I need to write faster. In conclusion.

What are you squeeing about today?

Well, literally today is Iulia's baby shower, so: impending godchild!

A little more generally: The Martian, Miss Fisher, Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie's most recent press appearances (THEIR FACES. THE BELT GRAB.)

If you could rope old fandom friends into a new fandom, it would be...

THE MARTIAN!!! READ IT. JOIN ME IN BEING EXCITED FOR THIS MOVIE FOR ENTIRELY NON-SEBASTIAN-STAN-RELATED REASONS. JOIN ME IN JUDGING PEOPLE WHO INTEND TO SEE THIS MOVIE FOR SEBASTIAN STAN.

I should really watch/read/dive into _______ and then come talk to you about it!

THE MARTIAN. It's a quick read! There are adorable/hilarious promo videos!! I CAN TALK ABOUT THE MARTIAN FOREVER.

What else is on your mind?

I really need to trim and file my nails. And also I need to see if I can lure Iulia and her husband to the Original Pancake House for giant apple pancake breakfast tomorrow morning before we trek back to our side of the Lake with all the baby shower loot. Hmmmm.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
...So I figured I should keep it going, and lo! A convenient meme!

From [personal profile] riverlight: When you see this, share 3 random lines from 3 WIPs.


1. "Bucky is just a name," Steve snapped, unable to hold it in any longer. "Your name now, your name before."

2. "You're doing fine," Steve said, keeping his voice as steady and gentle as he could, "but can you tell me why you're doing that right now?"

3. "The regs don't say anything about sodomy," Bucky said. "Just wondering what the penalty is for that these days."
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
The meme part: When you see this, make a post in your journal or in a community. It can be anything: a crosspost something you've posted on Tumblr, a few words about the last thing you read/watched, or just a "Hi, how is everyone?" Then go read your f-list and leave at least one comment.

(I cannot now find the Tumblr post with the anti-anxiety shark, but if you feel bad about not actually doing the meme despite having seen the thing, feel free to consider that the anti-anxiety shark has swum past and relieved you of the burden to do anything about it.)


Anyway! Thanks to the #hydratrashparty chat's ongoing collective Robert Redford breakdown, I made myself a list of Robert Redford Movies I Haven't Seen Yet. I think it was a list of twelve when I started, and I have watched three and added one, so I'm still at ten. Uh, and because I am a giant nerd I am watching them in chronological order, so any recommendations for pre-1972 Robert Redford movies I haven't seen yet will have to go to the end of the line or something. Still on the list:

The Way We Were
The Sting
Three Days of the Condor
All the President's Men
Brubaker
The Natural
Out of Africa
Sneakers
Indecent Proposal
The Horse Whisperer

(Other Robert Redford movies that are not on the list because I have already seen them: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Up Close and Personal (shut up I was in high school it was super romantic), and, of course, Spy Game.) (And of course of course, CA: TWS)

Already watched: Barefoot in the Park, Jeremiah Johnson, The Candidate )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Scope note: Anonymous exchange fics are included in the Year in Review for the year in which they were revealed, so this post includes my Yuletide 2013 stories, revealed on January 1, 2014. To my surprise, it also includes my Yuletide 2014 story, which was revealed before midnight in my time zone on December 31, 2014.

This year I posted 32 stories in 10 fandoms totaling a little over 407,000 words, which surprised me--it topped the total for 2008, the year I posted Missing Persons, which accounted for 250,000 words all by itself. I didn't have one such enormous story this year, but one novel-length and six novella-length fics plus assorted mid-length stories add up, apparently.

Titles this year were quoted from The Mountain Goats (4), Paul Stookey, Guys & Dolls, Fiona Apple, The Decemberists, Shakira, Fall Out Boy, Dar Williams, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, U2, Josh Ritter, and The Police.

Fic List )

Fic Review Meme )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Because I saw this somewhere, looked it up, and was too entertained by the results not to recycle this meme: Pick up the book nearest to you and turn to page 45. The first sentence expains your love life.

"In the early 19th century an English convict named William Buckley escaped from a penal colony in Australia and for three decades lived happily with the Wathaurung aborigines."


(From Steven Pinker's The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined, which I find fascinating even though I can only read it for about twenty minutes at a time before I get distracted or fall asleep. I'm really curious about what Steve Rogers would make of The Long Peace, and my opinion of Hydra's organizational efficacy is going down with every page I read--I mean, seriously, they've supposedly been agitating for all this time and we never had a World War III?)
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Anyone who feels like it should post their ten most CRUCIAL CRUCIAL CRUCIAL-ASS movies, like the movies that explain everything about yourselves in your current incarnations (not necessarily your ten favorite movies but the ten movies that you, as a person existing currently, feel would help people get to know you) (they can change later on obviously).


1. Captain America: The First Avenger (Bucky!)
2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Bucky!)
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (BUCKYYYYY)
4. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (BUT I KNEW HIM)
5. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (EXPRESSION OF ABJECT TERROR)
6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (FACIAL HAIR)
7. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (BUT I KNEW HIM !!!!!!!)
8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (MOUTHGUARD)
9. Spy Game (NATHAN MUIR PLEASE HEAL MY SOUL BY NOT BEING ALEXANDER PIERCE AND ALSO BY LOVING YOUR BOY SCOUT ALMOST AS MUCH AS STEVE LOVES BUCKY, WITH SOMEWHAT MORE RELIABLE RESULTS.)
10. What Maisie Knew (KIDFIC)

That's it. That's my whole entire brain lately. Now you know what will happen if you try to carry on a conversation with me: BUCKY, IS WHAT. ALSO POSSIBLY KIDFIC.

I should probably have a Bucky icon by now, but is that even still a thing? Do people still make LJ icons?
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 27 - [personal profile] montanaharper asked me to write about writing, with very little other direction.

So this seems like a good time to talk about all the directedness that gets me through my writing process.

There is this piece of advice every writer gives about how the best way to get better as a writer, and to accomplish a lot as a writer, is to write every day. I have known that for a long time; anytime since I was twelve, if you had asked me, I could have parroted that advice to you. But somehow up until a few years ago I thought that didn't apply to me because... I had an irregular work schedule? I don't have good luck with waking up early and trying to force myself to write before work? I'm not a Serious Writer? I don't know. But a few years ago I realized that that piece of advice applies to me, too. I haven't achieved true regularity in my writing--I can't really bear to give up online chatting time for it, so I kind of cram it in here and there--but I try a lot harder than I used to.

One of the ways in which I try hard is this:

My spreadsheet. )

This is my spreadsheet that tracks how much I write each day, by story, and checks the total against my goals for the month (if any--some months there's no particular goal). I hate seeing zeroes and blanks there, and it allows me to see, at a glance, how well I'm doing with writing more or less every day, and how much I'm scattering my efforts across different projects. The month I finished The Boy and the Beast is an almost unbroken vertical column of putting in words on the same story day after day after day; this month I am, ah, less focused.

Another thing that keeps me writing is the wonder of phone timers and random number generators; I can get really easily paralyzed by choosing among options, which is not a great match with my tendency to be working on a handful of stories at once. But lately I have gotten into the habit of making myself a to do list that includes the top-priority stories I'm currently working on (and sometimes a wildcard Write - other option so I can get my hookerfic on) and I select what I'm going to do by random number generator, and then set myself a timer and work on it for twenty minutes--I am in fact writing this post in a twenty-minute timed session after the random number generator told me it was time to work on writing a journal entry. :)

I think this is partly a reflection of the fact that a lot of my writing is long projects where I just have to put in the time, day after day after day for months before I have something I can show off--it's very rare for me to have a story where I just have an idea and, whoosh, write the story, and there it is. I do it from time to time, but the stuff that I really think of as the core of my writing is long stories, and those take a certain amount of discipline and structure to see through, and so that's what I have learned to do, despite my easily distracted nature.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 26 - [personal profile] commodorified requested and required me to talk about Canada Fandom.

I feel like this is probably a term that requires at least a little explaining, and I expect I am probably the wrong person to do the explaining, but I'll give it a shot from my American-former-member-of-due-South-fandom perspective.

My sense of "Canada fandom" is that it refers to a tendency of a swathe of fandom centered on Canadian media, which I saw as epicentered on due South fandom and spreading outward through other shows and movies featuring Paul Gross, Callum Keith Rennie, Hugh Dillon, and other people who seem to show up in movies with those actors possibly on the basis of a casting phone tree. On top of being fannish about all these sources featuring Canadians, and set in Canada, a lot of people seem to extend a certain fannish attachment to the country of Canada itself, in a way that I have to assume is super weird to actual Canadians. (Sorry, Canadians. IN THE END, IT'S LOVE.)

Having happy fannish feelings about maple leaves and curling and the Canadian Arctic were all just sort of extensions of having happy fannish feelings about Benton Fraser, who loved those things, too, and then, you know: Canada fandom. I guess why Canada is sort of answerable in terms of readily available English-language media for the average USAn fan and sort of like... why corgis and why otters and why flower crowns. Because the internet, eh?

I myself had the odd sensation of being a little bit of a Canada hipster upon arriving in due South fandom: having grown up in southeast lower Michigan as a hockey fan, I already had my own fair share of exposure to excellent things coming from Canada. I totally liked Canada before it was cool, you guys. It was the birthplace of a solid half of the Red Wings roster. I grew up with the CBC as a standard TV channel. From the small town where I grew up, the nearest water park was over the border in Canada. In high school the annual drama club was to see The Phantom of the Opera in Toronto, and my parents redeemed the betrayal of forbidding me my middle school class trip by packing me off to Canada for a weekend at age fourteen. When I was in college Canada was where you went to drink legally in bars at age nineteen or twenty, and in the morning you could get Tim Horton's and Kinder Eggs before you crossed back over the border. So I always knew that Canada was where to get better chocolate and freer drinks and it was some little fraction as weird for me, encountering people who thought Canada was mostly about Mounties and Canadian films, as it must be for Canadians. Canada was the (excellent) place across the river for me, and I had always loved it in that way, even before I got into the fandoms that loved it along with me.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 25: [personal profile] sapphoisburning asks, Have you any thoughts on what Teen Wolf would be like if it were set somewhere...colder? Somewhere where hockey was more popular than lacrosse? Ya know, more Detroitier?

Well, I should say right up front that my brother, going to high school in suburban Detroit and growing up as a huge hockey fan, played lacrosse in high school. It's a lot cheaper than hockey, which is often a concern for high school kids, especially, say, the sons of single parents in blue/pink-collar jobs. So even if you put the show in Detroit or its suburbs they could, I will attest, still be playing lacrosse.

Then there's that "Detroit or its suburbs" question. I can further attest that, having done most of my growing up forty miles outside of Detroit, you can get plenty small-town without going too far. I definitely grew up with woods around me that could perfectly well have harbored weird reclusive families of werewolves, a werecoyote, whatever. So if you just want to set the show in the greater Metro Detroit area--close enough to commute to a high school where you play lacrosse but far enough out to have woods--then you can just swap the California license plates for Michigan ones and Beacon Hills is basically exactly the same place, just snowier in the winter. I mean, there's nothing that strikes me as especially Californian about the show so far; certainly not, say, its demographic makeup.

On the other hand if you put the show in Detroit, well a) a lot more of the characters better be black--Detroit is all of 12% white--and then b) well, now you've made a generic small town setting into a very specific urban setting, so hopefully you're engaging with that in some interesting ways. Derek's various squats over the seasons have a HUGE range of possibilities (omg werewolves in feral houses, yes) (and then [personal profile] sapphoisburning linked me to this bigfoot sighting; clearly the werewolves would have a turf war on their hands from the get-go). I wouldn't expect much better than ruins porn but, Jesus, at least all the abandoned spaces in Beacon Hills would make some sense if they were actually Detroit. WEREWOLF FIGHTS IN THE BOOK DEPOSITORY AND THE ZOO ON BELLE ISLE AND THE PACKARD PLANT. GO.

Anyway. So the show would be just as terrible as it is but in different ways and if it got me glimpses of Detroit I would watch the shit out of it and then write fanfic about Derek rehabbing a Boston-Edison mansion for the pack and making jam out of the gooseberries growing wild in vacant lots.

Shit I really want fic about Derek Hale being a gentrifying hipster on the urban prairie now. /o\
dira: Nate Fick, keeping his chin up (Nate - Chin Up)
February 20: [personal profile] kass asked me to write about wolves.

The thing about wolves, essentially, is that they are simultaneously soft and cuddly and dangerous killing machines. That is the id-appeal of them to me. Psychic wolves and wolf-shaped werewolves more so than actual wolves, of course.

I first got acquainted with psychic wolves when I read A Companion to Wolves shortly after it came out, and on the first reading especially, I felt very much like the target audience for the book in a way that I didn't feel like the target audience for most fantasy or science fiction I read: it was queer feminist hurt/comfort that put a woobie boy front and center for me to love. In the course of time I read the second book and got rather less enchanted, but by then I had already begun on the long road to writing psychic wolves into Generation Kill, so they were in a way mine now, and disliking a book about them could not make me stop loving psychic wolves.

Adding wolves to GK was a way to do a bunch of fun things in that universe: I could have a world where DADT was not a big thing, and homosexual activity was an inherent part of military service, and still build a situation where there was a reason Nate and Brad really, really couldn't have a relationship while serving together. It also allowed me to make literal and external the "warrior spirit" that Brad talks about in the miniseries (totally unironically, oh Brad, ♥) and generally up the stakes in a bunch of situations--Trombley isn't just a weirdo, he's a flashpoint for the whole unit.

Also, so many wolf-cuddles. ♥_______♥ Heat-shack sex was really just a hurt/comfort-y bonus.

I am likewise super into the actual-wolf-form of werewolves because a) so much more aesthetically pleasing than the Teen Wolf ~beta shift~ with the sideburns and whatnot, and b) did I mention wolves can be cuddly. The Boy and the Beast was basically just a 117,000-word ode to how great it would be to cuddle with a wolf, because, did I mention, cuddles are relevant to my interests. As are wolves. :D
dira: Nate Fick, keeping his chin up (Nate - Chin Up)
February 19: [livejournal.com profile] _whiskers asks, do you consider GK an RPF fandom? Why or why not?

Hmmm. Mostly yes--there are real guys with these characters' names, and it's their real lives I and my fellow GK fandomers are basing fic on. I personally certainly have written copious amounts of One Bullet Away fanfic under the banner of GK fandom.

At the same time, we're all definitely working off the HBO fictionalized versions of these guys, and the packaged, memoir-ized versions, plus the slightly less filtered RPF fodder of information about their lives that have trickled out in the years since the miniseries. I feel like it's definitely an RPF fandom at a slightly greater remove than most things that you would unquestioningly call an RPF fandom--maybe a bit more like writing fic about My Chemical Romance's Danger Days personas than writing fic about them directly, as a vague analogy. It's Stark Sands and Alexander Skarsgard who I picture when I'm picturing Nate and Brad having sex, not Nate Fick Actual and Brad Colbert Actual, so in that way there is a difference. The way I ship these guys has a lot to do with acting and directing choices from the miniseries, less to do with anything that comes from the Actual Guys Themselves.

And all of that said, I have bounced between RPF and FPF so long, and have worn down so many of my moral lines about which is okay and which isn't, that I find the question of whether or not it's an RPF fandom mostly uninteresting. I know that people who are in the fandom operate in different places along a spectrum of engaging with information about the real guys in fiction--many people deliberately use fictional names for their family members, reject the ~canon~ of what we know about their real lives post-2008, and of course this is also the root of a lot of the keep-it-secret-keep-it-safe attitude of the fandom--and I'm okay with meeting people wherever they are with that. For me I write it in a pretty-RPF-y way and I'm comfortable doing so.

I will say that back in bandom, when the fourth wall was getting punctured in various ways (VickyT commenting on fic about her! Pete Wentz's everything!) I realized that my point of anxiety about real people finding the fic I wrote about them was not that they would be upset by it (because whatever, if you don't want to read fic about yourself don't read fic about yourself, you're an adult) but that they would know what I got wrong. With the GK guys I don't even feel like I need to worry about that. Although...



...So maybe I should be more concerned, but idk, that seems like a pretty supportive reaction. :)
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 18: [personal profile] ride_4ever asks about the writing of Hawks and Hands.

Oh my god you guys I started writing Hawks & Hands just about ten years ago. o.O What even is the passage of time, that is impossible.

Ahem. Anyway. For most of the time I was writing H&H, [personal profile] iulia was in her first year of law school, and I was living alone for the first time and had a very limited local social life and was still pretty monofannish in Due South. (I am prone to refer to H&H as the baby I had to save my relationship with Due South, because I was sort of drifting out of the fandom--into Firefly and Stargate SG-1, among other things--and incepted myself back into DS by writing H&H. And, uh, that worked out about as well as having a baby ever does to save a relationship, and I was emphatically out of Due South within a few months after posting H&H in February 2005.)

So, uh, let's see. Things I remember about writing Hawks & Hands:

1) It was all I did for eleven months. It was all I could talk about for eleven months. SORRY EVERYONE I INTERACTED WITH BETWEEN MARCH 2004 AND FEBRUARY 2005. All I was doing, most of the time, was going to work (where I did research for my fic and chatted with people about my fic and incidentally did my not-very-demanding job and occasionally also read and wrote other fic), and then going home to work on my fic. My big regular social outlet was a friend's write club, where a handful of us writers would get together and write at a coffee shop once a week; I was the lone active fanwriter of the group and, uh. The other members of the group are definitely included in the above apology. SORRY EVERYONE. I'M BETTER AT SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE FILTERING NOW. MOSTLY.

2) It was... intense. There were definitely at least two separate instances where I cried over it, and as someone sort of new in fandom and, in retrospect, going through some other things wrt my friendships and relationships at the time, I really put a lot of pressure on myself to write this story quickly and well and it got weird sometimes.

But I wrote a 200,000-word story in eleven months and people liked it at the end, and honest to God most of that time was not spent crying, most of it was about loving the story and the characters and hockey. HOCKEYYYYYYYYYYYYY. <3__________<3

3) In retrospect I sort of laugh and want to pat myself on the head for the way I would get totally paralyzed every time I skirted the edge of writing RPF about hockey players. I would just be like OMG I AM MAKING UP DIALOGUE FOR CHRIS CHELIOS and lose like three days of writing because I just had to make horrified faces at my computer.

(I'm pretty sure that even then I took some delight in gently implying that Brett Hull would totally have liked to hook up with Ray Kowalski if they could ever get over punching each other all the time, though. Er. If that implication ever made it into the story as such? Maybe I just enjoyed imagining making that implication. YOU GUYS, I WAS TOTALLY SHIPPING RAY KOWALSKI/BRETT HULL CASUAL HATE SEX IN MY HEAD, JSYK.)

4) I went just a little bit out of order. Normally I write in fairly strict sequence, except that occasionally I will write a particular pivotal/dramatic/climactic scene in advance, if I have it really clear in my head and don't want to forget what I've figured out for it. What I generally don't do is, say, post that advance-written scene as its own flashfic so that I'm more or less committed to things going just the way I've written in that draft.

But I did with Hawks and Hands! I wrote a (really! pivotal!) sex scene out of order for the "Many Tongues" challenge at [livejournal.com profile] ds_flashfic and posted it March 15, 2004, nearly eleven months before I posted Hawks and Hands in its entirety, and I somehow actually managed to make that work--I changed a very little of the dialogue to reflect the exact things they'd said to each other in the story before then, but for the most part I didn't have to change the final version of that scene at all. (If you're curious, the flashfic is here: Code-Switching)

5) It was hands down the best beta experience I have ever had on a long fic, still, even ten years later. [personal profile] iulia and [personal profile] brooklinegirl were reading along with me, scene by scene as I wrote, giving all kinds of feedback nearly every day, so I was editing on the fly before each day's new writing. It was awesome, hugely encouraging, and that was a big part of why I was able to write so much so fast.

&Betas;
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Way behind now, sorry people who asked for specific dates!

February 17 - [personal profile] sage asked about my 3 bulletproof tropes, and [livejournal.com profile] pommederis asked What tropes (or things, whatever) will make you NOPE right the hell out of a fic, no matter how well written? And contrariwise, are there tropes/things that will make you stick with a fic even if the writing is not stellar? What combination of tropes/thingies do you think are your personal crack in fics, and have you ever found (or written) a fic that fulfills them?

Positives first, although I must confess I am in that slightly jaded and bitter place with all my fandoms where I've gotten really picky and almost nothing is a bulletproof kink or trope anymore. I'll stick with iffy writing for some things, but I have standards these days. (I mean, I look forward to the next time I'm so head-over-heels for a new shiny that I don't have standards! But right now I do.)

Anyway, things that will make me click immediately and hang on as long as I can to get my trope fix:

1) Feral/mute/wolf-shaped!Derek (I feel a reread of Stand Fast in Your Enchantments coming on even as I type this)
2) Arranged marriage/marriage of convenience
3) Uh... lactation kink. It is my thing lately, idek. (I blame [personal profile] verity for this as for so many other things: have a mind to just let my whole body go, especially, and then she wrote me more! make something good)


Conversely, my list of things that will make me NOPE right out of a fic is pretty exhaustive at this point:

1) Grammar, spelling, etc.
2) Being Wrong About Derek, Stiles, Nate, Brad, Ray, etc. etc.
3) Being wrong about other stuff, like advent wreaths, the function of the pancreas, small children, etc.
4) I don't understand what the story is about after the first couple of scenes
5) Bored now.



I theorized a while ago that the story that would make me read any fandom/pairing was one where a teenaged hooker is responsible for a small child and falls into a relationship with an adult john (not older than thirty, for preference) who is sad/competent/decent other than the uncharacteristic decision to pay a teenager for sex, and that one would definitely have me reading frantically and delightedly. Or if you mashed up something like Stand Fast in Your Enchantments, with feral!Derek and captivity and a sort of forced relationship blossoming, with a/b/o or other mpreg, then, like, goodbye everyone you will hear from me again after I have finished being dead of happiness. Oh and in either case the perfect story will be 100,000+ words and will deal with fallout/consequences/what happens next in great and loving detail.

Yes. That would just about do it.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 10 - [livejournal.com profile] browngirl, Design Your Ideal TV Show

So I'm going to take "ideal" to mean a show I enjoy watching and don't feel any particular compulsion to fix, a show that is actually really good all by itself, so it probably won't match the template of anything I've ever been super fannish about.

Ahem. So. My ideal TV show.

Sort of Stargate SG-1 + The X-Files + Buffy + Detroit, but BETTER. )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 9: [personal profile] lannamichaels asks, What's something you LOVE in fic, but don't see as much of it as you like?

Ohhhh, man. Um. The one that springs to mind is arranged marriage/marriage of convenience. Not pretend marriage or woke-up-married, but a situation where the characters are actually going into this situation knowing that from now on they are going to be legit married, permanently or for a long time, and this is how it's going to be, and now they need to make the best of that. And one or both of them are trying cautiously to court the other without making it awful, and they've gone from zero to enormous intimacy without any intervening relationship and now they have to learn each other and make it work (and then, of course, they fall madly madly in love). I especially am in favor of a situation where they don't hate each other and neither of them really holds the situation against the other, even if they might be angry at some outside force that pushed them into the marriage, because I don't like adversarial relationships but I looooooove people pushed to work together on something, and I love it even more when the something they have to work together on is domesticity and a life together and yes. Please.

...Shit now I want to write a million of this. Or reread King and Lionheart about six thousand more times. BUT OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE IT MORE TOOOOOOOOOOO.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 7: [livejournal.com profile] nuit_belle wanted me to talk about writing sex scenes.

Ummm. Hm. I used to hate it a lot more than I do now, but writing sex scenes is still one of my least favorite parts of writing, which I suspect, like my more specific resistance to writing het sex scenes, has something to do with my ace feels around sexual situations. Sex scenes are also, unlike plot or action sequences or villainous characters, something that I nonetheless persist in writing into a lot of my stories. And, happily, I've been getting more relaxed and having more fun writing sex scenes in the last year or two.

One of my few useful insights into the process of writing sex scenes was that I needed to stop waiting for the words to sound sexy to me--I'm always too conscious of the process and effort of the writing to find the written scene sexy myself. I realized that I had to just get out of my own way, and describe the action (including the emotions involved and the sensory details) as straightforwardly as possible; the reader would find that sexy if the words translated to a sexy picture in their head, and if they didn't at least I wasn't getting in my own way trying to find magically alluring words for things. That took some of the pressure off, writing-wise, I think.

The other thing that I think about a lot when writing sex scenes is some advice [personal profile] resonant gave once, which is that you have to identify what the sexy element, the zing, is in the scene, and that links up in my head to the idea that a sex scene has to be doing something. I mean, far be it from me to dismiss the joy of a sex scene that is there just to turn the reader on, but especially when it's embedded in a long story, I want a sex scene to be serving a purpose or I'm not putting it in there. My stories are prone to be plenty long enough without sex-scene padding. In Hawks and Hands (which I gave up and summarized as "eighteen sex scenes strung together with angst and hockey") every one of those eighteen sex scenes is doing some kind of work in the relationships playing out in the story; in that story the characters communicated a lot better through sex than with their words, so sex was how they comforted each other, how they demonstrated their growing intimacy, how they showed trust and love. On the other hand in You Drive Through the Dust I found myself floundering around toward the end because I felt like there really ~ought~ to be another sex scene in the happy ending section; but when I thought about what kind of relationship work I wanted the scene to do, and what would demonstrate the intimacy and ease the characters had developed with each other, it wound up being a scene of Nate and Brad going surfing instead.

I do also find myself pretty regularly in the place of, like, I DON'T KNOW, I THINK I HAVE USED UP ALL THE WORDS FOR DESCRIBING BLOWJOBS, I CAN'T WRITE ANOTHER BLOWJOB, THERE ARE NO WORDS LEFT. That's when I have to focus really hard on the unique emotional content of the scene, or what's going on in the relationship and how to show that through the sex, because, seriously. There are only so many words to describe blowjobs and at some point in the last (ye gods) 11 years, I'm pretty sure I have tried just about all of them.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 6: [personal profile] verity intones the dread magic words: DEREK HALE FEELS

;________________________;

Derek is My Guy so hard it's not even funny, he just--I agree with Hoechlin, here:



Derek tries so hard, and so much of the canon we have for him is Derek at the worst times of his life. He's flat and humorless and uncommunicative in the first two seasons? His one remaining family member and pack member, his alpha of six years, was just horribly murdered and left in the woods for him to find, and he is surrounded by people he can't trust not to torture-murder him, and the few people he tries to make some connection with refuse to trust him. Derek's mistakes have been punished so incredibly hard, and he has tried and tried and tried so hard to build himself a pack, to weave back together the remaining fragments of his family, and none of that has worked for him, and he has been surrounded by so much violence and death--some of it of his own making but none of his own free will--and somehow he just keeps getting up and coming back for more and trying again and again.

I just really want someone to wrap him in a blanket and tell him it's okay, he's not alone, he can take a rest. I want him to be able to trust someone that much. I want him to be able to kiss Stiles without keeping one eye open to watch for the sudden but inevitable betrayal. I want him to be able to laugh without it looking like Tyler Hoechlin forgot to act.

I just want Derek to be okay. My OTP is Derek/Someone Who's Good To Him, and that is really all I want for him, even if the someone who's good to him is just himself, at some point down the line when he can maybe forgive himself for everything he's done and have some compassion for the scared kid he was and still is, and just be all right, be safe and content and have a life that isn't defined by constant mortal terror.
dira: Nate Fick, keeping his chin up (Nate - Chin Up)
There are still some dates open later in February if anyone wants to suggest a post! :)

February 5: [livejournal.com profile] cattraine asks, So what would happen if GK's wolf brothers Brad and Nate stopped by Beacon Hills on a full moon night?

Hmmm. So Nate (looking full-bore civilian although vaguely familiar) and Brad (in civvies but still with his hair clipped tellingly short) wander into a diner in Beacon Hills with Frost and Bo on a full moon night. Strangers with wolves, not in uniform, ring a few bells, and before long the sheriff has come by to have a cup of coffee and piece of pie standing up at the counter; his brother, a mid-sized gray wolf named Smokey, wanders over to politely greet the strange wolves and see whether they're aiming to make any trouble. Bo and Frost amiably make the acquaintance of this local pack-leader, and a few minutes later the sheriff realizes he recognizes Nate and Bo from televised Veterans' League Capture the Flag games--the DC-Area Recon Veterans have gone to the national championships three years running with Bo on the team. The sheriff gets an autograph and paw-print for his wolf-mad son, Stiles, and wishes the shieldmates a good night before he heads out.

Uh, there are no werewolves in the wolf-verse, is the thing. So the full moon is not a very big deal. :)
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Sam Carter - Rocket Launcher)
February 4 - [personal profile] kuwdora, 3 favorite things about SG-1?

Oh man. Um. Let's see. Favorite things about SG-1.

1. TEEEEEEEEAM. I cannot get over the codependent OT4 teaminess of them, and although I place first priority on the original Jack-Sam-Daniel-Teal'c team configuration, the power of team made me love Jonas, Cam, and Vala just as fiercely once we got into their tenures. I love the way they love each other, mostly unspoken but bone deep and sure and through death and far, far beyond it. Every single episode is that thing Teen Wolf fic keeps trying to create in fic because canon refuses to give it to us: the tight-knit loyal wolfpack

--wait, sorry, now I've got Werewolf AU SG-1 happening in my brain, oh dear--

and I just, yes. This. TEAM.

2. Comedy. Not just the jokes, but comedy as a genre in the old literary sense--SG-1 is fundamentally a show set in a universe where things are going to turn out okay, and at the end everyone gets married and lives happily ever after. It's a basically positive worldview that goes well with mine, and is so, so much nicer to live in than the various crapsack worlds that some shows present.

Uh, this is possibly just turning into "things Teen Wolf makes me miss about Stargate." Sorry not sorry!

3. Extended team. Everyone outside the team who supports them and is very nearly just as far into the shit as the core team is--Hammond, Janet, Siler, Chevron Guy, this whole extended network of people who care about the team and are integral to keeping everything running. SG-1 really gave the sense of the characters existing within this wider community--there were always other gate teams somewhere else whose welfare had to be considered when something went wrong, and everyone had these networks of other relationships that affected what was going on on the show, and the extended team in the mountain really entered in to the same fierce loyalty as the team had to each other.

My favorite example of this from my recent rewatching: the moment when Jack is lobbying to undertake a particular mission and Hammond asks him how he knows it's important, and Jack tells him that Daniel (WHO HAS BEEN DEAD FOR A YEAR) told him so. And after a very little corroborating back and forth with Teal'c, who has also had a visit from Daniel in the year of his death, Hammond just says, "Okay. Good enough for me."

Because EVERYBODY in the SGC is this crazy about each other, and trusts each other this far, and I LOVE THEM FOR IT.
dira: Allison Argent, smiling delightedly (Allison - Smile)
I'm doing a give-me-topics meme, and I have several days left, so feel free to ask away!

February 3: [livejournal.com profile] chelletoo asked, What was your first fandom and how involved are you still in it?

There are a few answers to this!

My first fandom that I participated in online, shared with real-life friends, and wrote fic for was The X-Files, starting right around the premiere of Season 3 in 1995. I gave up on writing fic, and mostly stopped reading it, after a year or so, when my canon-consistency-loving heart was broken by trying to keep fic in line with a canon that was not in line with itself half the time. Also of course I was going to be a Serious Writer and I had a novel to work on. I kept watching the show and squeeing about it with Iulia for years afterward (although the squee declined considerably toward the end). My current level of involvement is "sometimes but not always reblog when it comes across my Tumblr dash."

The first fandom of my continuous involvement in slash fandom--the one where I got my name, Dira--was popslash, although I never wrote in it and deleted the LJ I used to participate in it due to interpersonal drama. But it brought me to fandom and gave me my name, so &popslash;. My current level of involvement is "...is that still a thing? Huh. I wonder what those guys are up to these days."

The first fandom where I posted fic online and other people read it was Buffy. This is also where I got the Sudis part of my name, so it's the real start of my current fannish identity. My current level of involvement is "sometimes but not always reblog when it comes across my Tumblr dash."

But I think none of these is really the true answer, because the first fandom of my heart, the one that was really formative--and the one that came first chronologically, if we allow me trying to be like my big brother by literally stealing his books when he wasn't looking as a fannish act--was the Vorkosigan Saga. This was the first fandom that I was really involved in in terms of being part of a community and getting to know people--fic wasn't a big part of the mailing list at the time I was first participating, c.1995-1999, so I didn't write fic, but I began relationships that still persist to this day. Just the other day I had a Listie background-checking someone I was going to stay with via another Listie, because Listie family never quits. I am still writing Vorkosigans fic, and the Vorkosigan Saga will always be a huge huge part of my fannish heart.

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
23 456 78
9 101112131415
16 171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 24th, 2017 10:38 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios