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well. that wasn't what I was expecting.
So, for whatever reason - possibly my well-known powers of obliviousness - I didn't realize what I was going to the "behavioral health" clinic for today; I thought it was some sort of one-shot-ish evaluation for ADD and/or social anxiety though, in retrospect, I'm sure no such thing exists. What it actually was, of course, was that I'd been referred, from the staff assistance program, to an actual therapist who I can then continue seeing on a long-term basis.
So, okay, launched into the "me and my Issues" talk, a bit scattered since a) the room was full of toys, because she usually deals with children, b) she looked like a kindergarten teacher, presumably for the same reason and c) I wasn't really expecting this and didn't have my answers prepared, plus d) the paperwork had been fairly mind-numbing and then I'd just read a single page of Kavalier & Clay when she came out to get me.
Anyway, so, issues, blah blah, mom, blah blah, hobbies.
Her: "So, what kind of things do you like to write about?"
Me: (Thinking: Y'know, last time I managed to just say 'gay porn'. Looking around room: seeing soft colors and the tub of legos and, okay, I go for the circuitous route.) Uh, well, used to be science fiction and fantasy and now it's mostly, um, fanfiction.
Her: blank look
Me: Stories about characters from tv shows or movies. Most fanfiction is romantically oriented, and what I write is called slash - which means that it's two guys together.
Her: imperfect poker face. "Uh, what made you choose that specialty?"
Me: The Story of How I Got Into Slash, nervous and awkward remix.
And at the end of the session she says, "I just hope you won't mind educating me a little about slash - I don't even own a computer and can't access anything remotely sex-related here, since it's a Catholic health service, but if you could print me off a short story, or a definition or a description, that would be helpful."
So, yeah. I'm staring at my website, and it's like I'm submitting my portfolio or something. Do I choose the best ones? Smutty? Not? Pieces that represent something about the way I write? Should I refuse to give her anything I've written and instead show her stuff by other people that is representative of the genre? And for God's sake which of the nine million explanations for what slash is do I hand over?
I suppose I shouldn't give her anything on the why angle, huh? I suppose I should let her come to her own conclusions there. Just. Augh.
And now: to Write Club. Where I may not mess up the chi, but will probably prevent anyone from getting much work done.
It's a gift.
So, okay, launched into the "me and my Issues" talk, a bit scattered since a) the room was full of toys, because she usually deals with children, b) she looked like a kindergarten teacher, presumably for the same reason and c) I wasn't really expecting this and didn't have my answers prepared, plus d) the paperwork had been fairly mind-numbing and then I'd just read a single page of Kavalier & Clay when she came out to get me.
Anyway, so, issues, blah blah, mom, blah blah, hobbies.
Her: "So, what kind of things do you like to write about?"
Me: (Thinking: Y'know, last time I managed to just say 'gay porn'. Looking around room: seeing soft colors and the tub of legos and, okay, I go for the circuitous route.) Uh, well, used to be science fiction and fantasy and now it's mostly, um, fanfiction.
Her: blank look
Me: Stories about characters from tv shows or movies. Most fanfiction is romantically oriented, and what I write is called slash - which means that it's two guys together.
Her: imperfect poker face. "Uh, what made you choose that specialty?"
Me: The Story of How I Got Into Slash, nervous and awkward remix.
And at the end of the session she says, "I just hope you won't mind educating me a little about slash - I don't even own a computer and can't access anything remotely sex-related here, since it's a Catholic health service, but if you could print me off a short story, or a definition or a description, that would be helpful."
So, yeah. I'm staring at my website, and it's like I'm submitting my portfolio or something. Do I choose the best ones? Smutty? Not? Pieces that represent something about the way I write? Should I refuse to give her anything I've written and instead show her stuff by other people that is representative of the genre? And for God's sake which of the nine million explanations for what slash is do I hand over?
I suppose I shouldn't give her anything on the why angle, huh? I suppose I should let her come to her own conclusions there. Just. Augh.
And now: to Write Club. Where I may not mess up the chi, but will probably prevent anyone from getting much work done.
It's a gift.