It is really too bad I deleted the LJ in which I would have documented this.

[dira]

So around January 2002 I went to see The Fellowship of the Ring with thelionforreal, who was at that point possibly already a part of the Popslash=>Lotrips migration. I had already been resisting seeing the movie for a month or more because--I realize this will not make any sense to anyone, okay, but there it is--I had come across a Theban Band manip of Aragorn and Boromir, and I had made it my desktop wallpaper, and Boromir was smiling a particularly happy smile, and I knew that he was going to die in the movie, and I knew that he would not smile that smile or be that happy, and I did not want to see it.

But eventually I went to see the movie, and sure enough he died, and I started crying--I started sobbing, and I did not stop for half an hour. If you are familiar with the movie, you will realize that this took me through the rest of the movie, the credits, and the three-block walk home from the movie theater. I still feel kind of bad about subjecting Missi to that; I'm sure she was even more baffled by it than I was.

Ever since then, I feel a little uncertain of what I mean, or what anyone else understands me to mean, when I say a book or a movie or something made me cry. Last night I finished reading The Persian Boy, and Alexander's death (this is even less of a spoiler than Boromir's death, okay) made tears drip from my eyes, and instead of just saying to anyone "The Persian Boy made me cry!" I found myself wondering what it meant when I said that and whether I would be somehow deceiving someone because I was not, for instance, prostrated with grief for at least half an hour.

So! A poll. (On Dreamwidth only. But you can be a part of this very important scientific undertaking with an OpenID login!)


In all questions and in all answers, "I" or "me" is me, Dira, and "You" is you, the poll-answerer.

Poll #5679 Towards a taxonomy of crying over stuff.

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 152

View Respondents

If I say a book/movie made me cry, what do you think I mean?

View Answers

I was very sad or otherwise very emotional.
26 (17.2%)

I was choked up.
36 (23.8%)

I had tears in my eyes.
82 (54.3%)

I had tears running down my face.
83 (55.0%)

I was actively crying and/or sobbing.
56 (37.1%)

I was recreating the Lord of the Rings incident from 2002.
21 (13.9%)

You make no particular assumptions about what I mean.
42 (27.8%)

Something else which you will explain in the comments.
1 (0.7%)

If you say a book/movie/etc. made you cry, what reaction are you describing?

View Answers

You were very sad or otherwise very emotional.
28 (18.4%)

You were choked up.
43 (28.3%)

You had tears in your eyes.
102 (67.1%)

You had tears running down your face.
106 (69.7%)

You were actively crying and/or sobbing.
67 (44.1%)

You started crying during the book/movie/etc. and then continued crying even after you finished or stopped engaging with the book/movie/etc., for an extended period of time, say half an hour for the sake of argument.
37 (24.3%)

You might say something made you cry without intending to describe any particular reaction.
10 (6.6%)

Something else which you will explain in the comments.
2 (1.3%)

Which of these emotional reactions have you actually had to a book/movie/etc.? You don't have to say what it was or when.

View Answers

You were very sad or otherwise very emotional.
124 (82.1%)

You were choked up.
123 (81.5%)

You had tears in your eyes.
137 (90.7%)

You had tears running down your face.
122 (80.8%)

You were actively crying and/or sobbing.
89 (58.9%)

You started crying during the book/movie/etc. and then continued crying even after you finished or stopped engaging with the book/movie/etc., for an extended period of time, say half an hour for the sake of argument.
61 (40.4%)

Something else which you will explain in the comments.
6 (4.0%)

Comments

[petra]

Tears in my eyes - Watership Down comes to mind first.

Tears running down my face - Shards of Honor, various Diane Duane novels.

Actively crying/sobbing - other Diane Duane novels, Connie Willis's Doomsday Book and Passage (it's a good thing I read quickly because "Sobbing for 200 pages" is not an exaggeration nor is it comfortable, but it was only maybe 5 minutes after finishing before I got myself under control).

Continued crying after finishing - To me, it doesn't count to finish watching a television show that makes one cry and then to keep crying because one is deconstructing it at length via chat, because that's not disengaging, that's twisting the knife, and twisting it some more, and then making the tears start up again. And it was only once, anyway.

[shihadchick]

Oh god, the Young Wizards, yeah. I tear up EVERY TIME. (Especially the first four. Maaaaaan.)

[cobweb_diamond]

i barely teared up over brokeback mountain (which i found v upsetting), but the first time i saw narnia i was in floods of tears from beginning to end. sentimentality + childhood nostalgia, i think? i'm not generally much of a crier.

[grammarwoman]

Torchwood's Children of Earth evoked all of the above emotions above, to the point that


[spoiler space, in case anyone cares]


I felt so emotionally abused at the end that I went through grief and into numbed shock. I really, really hate children-in-peril stories, and I felt like that button was being mashed (and over-mashed) more out of sadistic glee than actual desire for good storytelling.

I still have a hate on for that ending.

[polarisnorth]

I think the only character death I have actually sobbed over, and this is kind of weird but I was also about twelve at the time, so that might explain it, is when Mark Harmon's character died at the end of third season West Wing. At the time, I wasn't in the habit of reading books or watching shows where characters died a lot, and I was utterly shocked. Since then, I've kind of gotten used to the fact that the characters I like tend to be the ones who die. I'll get teary if it's particularly well-written, and sometimes at other emotional scenes, but I don't think I've had a sobbing breakdown since then, even when Sirius died (although I did go through the five stages of grief after that one).

[dira]

Mark Haaaaarmon! I ... sadly cannot remember the characters name, but that one was CRUSHING.

*sniffles in memory*

[solarcat]

I might possibly be a very strange person, but oddly, FICS are far more likely to make me actually tears-running-down-my-face CRY. I can't remember ever having an emotional reaction that strong to a show/book/movie itself. Perhaps the closest I've gotten were watching Milk and Toy Story 3, where I actually did have tears in my eyes. Brokeback Mountain was pretty damn close, though--the book, not the film, because once I got to the film I already knew the ending.

But yeah, to comment more succinctly, if I say a book/movie made me cry, I generally just mean I got choked up about it or felt very sad. If I say a FIC made me cry, I was probably wiping tears off my cheeks. *probably just a weird person, sry*

[krait]

Same for me, actually! Most books only get me to the emotional or stifling-tears stage. I think the first story I actually had tears falling down my cheeks for was an HP fic. :D

[minim_calibre]

Sad things happening to animals are a cry trigger. Where the Red Fern Grows, I am looking at you.

Stuff doesn't make me cry often. When it does, and is not sad things happening to animals, I cling to it for private emotional breakdown times.

[thefourthvine]

OH MY GOD. You have just reminded me of a special trauma, which I am now going to share with you! My fourth grade teacher - well, one of them - apparently enjoyed seeing children weep, since she read not only where the Red Fern Grows but also Bridge to Terebithia out loud to us. But the thing was, I couldn't wait for the chapter each day. I loved Where the Red Fern Grows! I loved books about dogs! After the first chapter, I went home and got my mother to get me a copy. Which I finished over the weekend. And then spent many hours weeping and miserable; even then, nothing got to me like sad things happening to animals.

And then I had to go back to school, and listen to the whole thing being read out loud one chapter at a time, trying not to cry (because I was already the very weird kid, and I knew that would somehow make it EVEN WORSE), knowing what would come. And this torture continued FOREVER; it's a very long book to read out loud. In my memory, it took her about 300 years to finish reading it, and I cried after school most days.

Then came the ending. At least at that point everyone else was crying, too.

[fox]

Swing Kids, VHS, my friend's basement, 1993 approx. Specifically, I knew what Robert Sean Leonard was delivering whole minutes before he did, so I was already pretty upset by that, and then the bit where he goes ahead and looks in the box destroyed me.

[scrollgirl]

You started crying [...] then continued crying [...] for an extended period of time, say half an hour for the sake of argument.

IIRC, I've only had this kind of reaction maybe twice: The Joy Luck Club (movie, not book), and the Angel ep, "Hero", (SPOILER ALERT!) in which Doyle dies.

I'm far more likely to react emotionally to fictional death in movies, TV shows, fanfic--though less so with books--than to RL death. I'll sob my heart out over well-written angst, but I only got choked up and teary-eyed at my grandmothers' funerals. I mean, I loved both my grandmothers and I miss them, but it was all too real and... I dunno, present? to cry over. I'm sure it'd be different if it was my own mom, though.

[wired]

I sat between my husband and the kids during Toy Story 3, because, as I expected, he sobbed quietly through much of it.

Later, Baz was reduced to floods of tears by the thoughts inspired by that movie and his long-lost, never-forgotten Green Puppy.

He STILL cries about it.

Fucking movie.

[dira]

Oh, God, I am reminded of Christmas a year ago--my grandfather, my dad's dad, passed away a week before, so the family converged a bit early, which led to me and my dad sitting around with my small niece and nephew, who wanted to watch Up.

Dad and I stared fixedly at the TV, trying not to cry audibly all the way through the beginning, while the kids fidgeted and waited for the movie to get interesting. AND THEN THEY WANTED TO WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

[inmyriadbits]

My own "2002 Lord of the Ring Incident" was the end of New Doctor Who S1 -- I went in completely unspoiled about the fact that Christopher Eccleston was leaving, nor did I really understand regeneration completely, nor was I expecting major character death in any way. And I loved the Doctor, completely madly, and then he was just gone. I sat sobbing on the bed for what must have been a solid fifteen minutes, until my sister persuaded me to watch the Children In Need special in attempt to cheer me up. It only kinda worked, but it stopped me crying for the most part.

I had a discussion once (with the guy who wrote our screenwriting textbook, which was pretty awesome) about how perhaps the greatest measure of a story's emotional impact is if there's some kind of uncontrollable physical reaction in the audience -- like feeling sick to your stomach with worry, or laughing out loud, or grinning until your face hurts, or tears coming to your eyes. So, I count any reaction where my tear ducts have gotten kicked into action through the power of fiction as "it made me cry," because it passes that threshold of "physical reaction," even though there are obviously gradations of intensity there.

It makes me think of that old (maybe apocryphal) story about a pregnant woman in the front row at the premiere of Aeschylus's play The Eumenides, who was supposedly so frightened by the appearance of the Furies that she had a miscarriage. And, of some of the silent-era Hollywood producers, who planted people in the audience of their horror film premieres, so that they could use stories of people fainting for publicity. :)

[dira]

Yeah, the uncontrollable physical reaction is kind of my standard as well, when it comes down to it--if the tears come to my eyes, then there it is, and everything after that is just a matter of degree.

[sage]

Oh, I have a handful of books and movies that brought me to extended sobbing tears that last long after the ending. Sometimes it's the whole useless tragedy of it, sometimes it's relating really strongly with the person who dies (or the person who's just lost them and whose heart is completely shredded), sometimes it's inexplicable and I blame hormones. *g*

Sometimes I shed a few tears or my eyes tear up briefly at books or stories, and sometimes there are a few dry sobs without actual tears, but mostly it's pretty hard to get me to cry. I tend to get angry when I feel a story or movie or show is trying to manipulate my emotions and force me to cry -- but when it comes by it honestly? BAM. (Also, my numbers are skewed because I try to avoid tragedies and heavy dramas. If I read/watched more of them, I'd probably be crying all the time.)

[celli]

Everything makes me cry. I sniff, drip, and flood regularly. And I can't necessarily predict what will cause what, you know? *hands*

[spatz]

I cry more readily than I used to over stories, but the last time I was really inconsolable (i.e., crying persisted well after finishing the story) was after Bridge to Terabithia, back when I was in elementary school. Certain stories can make me tear up just to think about, but no actual spilling over. I tend to use "made me cry" or "I was in tears" for anything from wiping water away to full-on sobbing (example) ; "tearing up" when I just get a bit moist or emotional.

Maybe it's genetic, because my dad always has to wipe his eyes at the high emotional bits of movies and TV. ♥

[mermaid]

What gets me most is when I re-read / re-watch something multiple times, and STILL cry every time. The Outsiders is the book example that springs to mind.

But I also cry at happy endings. The most ridiculous example: Cool Runnings. It's an uplifting finish - they don't win but they still triumph in spiritual terms, blah blah - and yet it brought tears to my eyes.

[ellen_fremedon]

I've had all those reactions to books and movies (and plays, and songs even), and may be describing any or none of them when I say something made me cry.

[northern]

The one where I cried the *most* was Pan's Labyrinth. I started crying at the end and then just continued for 15-20 minutes, because I just felt that the girl had been so betrayed and there was no way that her vision at the end was true.

[poala]

Oh I cry! I bawl sometimes I just get choked up but usually it's full on sobbing crying. I cried just last week while rewatching the Glee episode where Kurts dad has a heart attack and he sings I wanna hold your hand. I cried so hard during Marley and Me. I cried so hard while reading Little Women that my Mom was concerned. I cry when I read sad fics all the time.

[petronia]

Seconding the person who said The Joy Luck Club up there, ergh Asian mother-daughter PTSD, deliver me from that sort of real life reminder in my entertainment. Otherwise I can't remember another instance of trying-not-to-sob-and-breaking-down crying, although I get tears in my eyes reasonably often.

I'm getting tearier as I get older, actually - up to my teens I never cried at anything. Then I started tearing up at movies, and these days I find I tear up at online articles when I'm hormonal. But I never cry while reading books - I think it's because my triggers are quite vulgar: innocent dying children or animals or low-key stoic sacrifice. The authors I enjoy generally go for better effects even when sad.

[epershand]

For the most part I mean something like tearing up or even just having my eyes sting a bit, but there are a couple of things that have actually made me cry, and it tends to happen more where I've got a long-standing fannish investment.

In fact, a lot of the things that make me cry are significant might-have-beens in AUs. I get really emotional about AUs that alter significant character-developing events from canon.

(But my canon is not always the actual canon. Every Harry Potter book since and movie starting with the third one has made me cry. But at some point, "Transfigurations" and "Night-Blooming Heartsease" became my canon for the way the series was supposed to end. I actually think of the last 3 books as an odd AU. So I cry about things that happen in the books and movies, but I get more emotional when something reminds me of the events I'm more attached to in Transfig.)

In terms of actual, long-term sobbing? I sat in my room and cried for a while after I finished Cryoburn. I had tears running down my cheeks for the first hour or so of the most recent HP film. And, most dramatically, back in 1998 or 1999 when I saw Life is Beautiful I sobbed hysterically for over an hour after we left the theatre. This was particularly awkward because we went out to dinner. The restaurant manager stopped by to see if I was ok.

[exceptinsects]

I don't think fanfiction has ever made me cry beyond the "choked up" point, and that very rarely.
A few times I have sobbed; for example when reading the end of the Golden Compass series not too long after a close friend had died. Another time was when I was happily reading "Lost Boys" by Orson Scott Card in the living room with my roommate, and then suddenly realized what was going on (giant spoiler, can't tell you) and BURST INTO TEARS, to the point where she was like, OMGWTF are you okay???

Any movie where someone's beloved mother dies will get me to the "tears running down face" point. WHY WOULD ANYONE SHOW "STEPMOM" ON A PLANE, JESUS CHRIST.

[thefourthvine]

I will cry over anything. Seriously - drop a hat and I will probably cry about it. (And I cry in response to emotions besides sadness. I am so awesome.) So I've had that reaction - crying for really prolonged periods during and after media - over a lot of things.

When I was four, my parents banned me from seeing movies again until I was old enough to take myself, after a truly traumatizing viewing of Song of the South that left me crying for THREE DAYS after the movie - I got over it eventually, but my parents were forever scarred. I wasn't even allowed to see movies in school; I got sent to the library during them, and the teachers concluded that my parents were religious freaks or something, but really they just couldn't face the possibility of sitting up with me for three nights running again, while I cried and cried and CRIED and my eyes swelled shut and I got dehydrated and I still wouldn't stop crying.

Probably the most egregious in my adult years - although there is competition - was Prince in Egypt, because I started crying during the opening credits (slavery is sad!) and did not stop until long after we were home. (Even though I am Jewish, I was not really spoiled for the story. It was shocking, okay? And upsetting.) Also, I sympathized with both Moses and Ramses (I came out of there thinking God was really the bad guy of the story, which was not necessarily what they were trying to convey), and at one point Best Beloved whispered to me, "Why are you crying NOW?"

"Ramses," I sobbed back. "His SON. It's SO SAD."

"But he's the bad guy! You can't be on both sides!" she said.

"I can," I said, still crying. "I can."

Best Beloved hates to see me cry, and she still twitches at the mention of that movie. I think she'd rank that as her most traumatic movie experience ever.

[neery]

I don't actually ever really actively cry/sob/break down over movies, except sometimes when someone's mother dies, and then it's not really that I give a damn about the movie, it's just a forceful reminder that my own mom is 42 years older than I am and the thought that she'll die someday is completely unbearable to me. I avoid those movies/books like the plague, and get intensely resentful if I stumble over one by accident.

The most I've ever cried because of a movie itself was a few tears running down my face, and even then, that's usually during touching/happy/bittersweet moments, not sad ones. Moments where lots of people work together for the greater good tend to get to me, and loving parent-child moments. The end of V for Vendetta usually makes me choked up, or actual documentary footage of the crowds of people during the fall of the German wall. And that montage in Mamma Mia where her mom is helping her get ready for her wedding.

But anyway, I definitely don't usually assume a lot of sobbing/crying when someone says "This made me cry", just because most of the people I've watched movies with also tend towards, at most, a few tears.

[rheanna]

I don't think I've ever cried at a TV show, but occasionally I've cried at films in the cinema, partly, I think, because those are a more immersive experience for me. When I was a teenager, I cried at the John Candy comedy about the Jamaican bob-sled team, Cool Runnings (they crash! And then they all pick up their sled together! And carry it over the finish line! I WEPT). Less, unexpectedly, I cried at Schindler's List when I saw -- it was the end credits sequence, where the actors appear with the real people they played. But my most emotional experience at the cinema was the time I saw Spielberg's A.I. It isn't, honestly, that brilliant a film (at least imho) but I started crying about 2/3 of the way through and basically did not stop. At the time I was thoroughly miserable in other ways in my life, so I think the movie just provided a point of focus for expressing it.

[shinetheway]

Normally, "I cried" is just a feeling of deep overwhelming emotion and sadness, possibly with damp eyes but rarely full-on tears. To actually cry over anything is rare.

That said, I CRIED LIKE A CRAZY PERSON during Anne's execution in The Tudors, and if there's anything less of a spoiler than Alexander's death, it's what happens to ANNE FUCKING BOLEYN. But I just sat there BAWLING at it...and then, for reasons I can't even explain, I proceeded to rewind and watch the entire death bit seven more times. Sobbing the whole time, I should add. I can't explain why, but god, I just lost it watching that episode, and the final scenes are so incredible and I literally couldn't help it.

[edithmorningstar]

I have had pretty much every possible emotional reaction you could conceivably lump under the umbrella "made me cry." Sometimes it's cos something in the story triggers something that's been going on in my RL to let loose, especially if I haven't been able to really cry about it before. Sometimes "made me cry" is just wetness in the eye or one tear escaping, sometimes it is a full on sobbing episode that's like your LoTR one. So I never assume anything particular from someone else, knowing the range or reactions I varyingly mean for myself. Heck, I would be OK with someone saying something "made them cry" when it really just "made them want to cry."

Bottom line, if you think you need to have a full-on sob to have the cred to say you cried, I fall on the side of no, you definitely don't.