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30 questions fic meme, day 10: resisting everything except temptation
10 – Pairings – Have you ever gone outside your comfort zone and written a pairing you liked, but found you couldn't write, or a pairing you didn't like, and found you could?
I am almost infinitely persuadable when it comes to pairings, provided they involve one or more characters I care about, so this question almost doesn't compute at all for me.
I have a distinct memory of this WRT to reading fic: not long after I got into Buffy fandom it occurred to me that someone, somewhere, must be writing Giles/Buffy. Age differences and power dynamics and Giles are all relevant to my interests--surely this would make for kinkywrongfun reading experiences!
Yeah, I have never been squicked harder in my life except for that one time I tried to read Steve Yzerman slash and my eyes actually filled with tears to spare me the sight.
I did do something kind of similar once--similar to my Giles/Buffy experience, not, thankfully, similar to ill-fated excursions into NHL RPS--in my own writing. I tried to write Don Eppes/Colby Granger. Powerplay, age difference, secrecy but not as much secrecy as Don/Charlie! In principle, I find this pairing intriguing! In practice, I wrote something like ten thousand words of fic which kept falling further into some hideous and incoherent rabbit hole, located an ending of sorts, sent it off to beta, revised, sent it off again, attempted to revise, realized that these problems were in fact really, really fundamental and also I was starting to hate the fic a lot, and finally declared defeat and went home. I think it's the only fic I've ever written to something like completion and then stuffed into a drawer; certainly it's the longest. I simply could not make the fascinating dynamic that worked in my head work on paper. Among other things, there was no way to make a roughly canonical Colby that crazy without doing a lot of setup I didn't want to do. (I was, at the time, about halfway through doing all the setup in the world to make Don and Charlie crazy enough for each other. I did not need another crazyfication epic.)
I eventually did succeed in writing Don/Colby a couple of times after that, by the expedients of not actually exploring the relationship dynamics at all and sticking to drabble length. So possibly Don/Colby doesn't count, but that one awful story is my one big failure to write a pairing I set out to write--getting distracted by something shiny and wandering off before I finished that Clone!Ten/Rose epic, or the Bones love triangle with Sully, hardly counts.
As for writing a pairing I didn't like but found I could write anyway, uh, hm. As I said, I'm vastly persuadable, so by the time I've worked my way around to writing, like, The Doctor's daughter and a Dalek, I'm convinced that they're MFEO anyway. I guess Red John/Patrick Jane was probably the most self-consciously sincerely wrong pairing I've ever successfully written.
(The most self-consciously wrong pairing that I was never able to write--both because I was forbidden by everyone I told about the bunny and because I myself couldn't really bear to have it in my head enough to properly write it--was Gerard and Mikey Way, bodyswapped into each other. For whatever that's worth.)
1 – How did you first get into writing fanfic, and what was the first fandom you wrote for? What do you think it was about that fandom that pulled you in?
2 – Name the fandoms you've written in, and how much you've written in that fandom, and if you still write in it.
3 – For each of the fandoms from day two, what were your favorite characters to write?
4 – Do you have a "muse" character, that speaks to you more than others, or that tries to push their way in, even when the fic isn't about them? Who are they, and why did that character became your muse?
5 –If you have ever had a character try to push their way into a fic, whether your "muse" or not, what did you do about it?
6 – When you write, do you prefer writing male or female characters?
7 – Have you ever had a fic change your opinion of a character?
8 – Do you write OCs? And if so, what do you do to make certain they're not Mary Sues, and if not, explain your thoughts on OCs.
9 – Pairings – For each of the fandoms from day two, what are your three favorite pairings to write?
10 – Pairings – Have you ever gone outside your comfort zone and written a pairing you liked, but found you couldn't write, or a pairing you didn't like, and found you could?
11 – Genre – do you prefer certain genres of fic when you're writing? What kind do you tend to write most?
12 – Have you ever attempted an "adaptation" fic of a favorite book or movie but set in a different fandom?
13 – Do you prefer canon or fanon when you write? Has writing fanfic for a fandom changed the way you see some or even all of the original source material?
14 – Ratings – how high are you comfortable with going? Have you ever written higher? If you're comfortable with NC-17, have you ever been shocked by finding that the story you're writing is G-rated instead?
15 – Warnings – What do you feel it most important to warn for, and what's the strangest thing you've warned for in a fic?
16 – Summaries – Do you like them or hate them? How do you come up with them, if you use them?
17 – Titles – Are they the bane of your existence, or the easiest part of the fic? Also, if you do chaptered fic, do you give each chapter a title, or not?
18 – Where do you get the most inspiration for your fics (aka "bunnies") from?
19 – When you have bunnies, do you sit down and start writing right away, or do you write down the idea for further use?
20 –Do you ever get bunnied from other people's stories or art in the same fandom?
21 – Sequels – Have you ever written a sequel to a fic you wrote, and if so, why, and if not, how do you feel about sequels?
22 – Have you ever participated in a fest or a Big Bang? If so, write about your favorite experience in relation to one. If not, are there any you've thought about doing? And if not, why not?
23 – When you post, where do you post to? Just your journal? Just an archive? Your own personal site?
24 – Betaing – How many betas do you like to use to make sure there aren't any major flaws in your fic? Do you have a Beta horror story or dream story?
25 – Music – Do you listen to music while you write? Do you make playlists to get into a certain "mood" to write your fic? Do you need noise in general? Or do you need it completely quiet?
26 – What is the oddest (or funnest) thing you've had to research for a fic?
27 – Where is your favorite place to write, and do you write by hand or on the computer?
28 – Have you ever collaborated with anyone else, whether writing together, or having an artist work on a piece about your fic?
29 – What is your current project or projects?
30 – Do you have a favorite fic you've written? What makes it your favorite? And don't forget to give us a link!
I am almost infinitely persuadable when it comes to pairings, provided they involve one or more characters I care about, so this question almost doesn't compute at all for me.
I have a distinct memory of this WRT to reading fic: not long after I got into Buffy fandom it occurred to me that someone, somewhere, must be writing Giles/Buffy. Age differences and power dynamics and Giles are all relevant to my interests--surely this would make for kinkywrongfun reading experiences!
Yeah, I have never been squicked harder in my life except for that one time I tried to read Steve Yzerman slash and my eyes actually filled with tears to spare me the sight.
I did do something kind of similar once--similar to my Giles/Buffy experience, not, thankfully, similar to ill-fated excursions into NHL RPS--in my own writing. I tried to write Don Eppes/Colby Granger. Powerplay, age difference, secrecy but not as much secrecy as Don/Charlie! In principle, I find this pairing intriguing! In practice, I wrote something like ten thousand words of fic which kept falling further into some hideous and incoherent rabbit hole, located an ending of sorts, sent it off to beta, revised, sent it off again, attempted to revise, realized that these problems were in fact really, really fundamental and also I was starting to hate the fic a lot, and finally declared defeat and went home. I think it's the only fic I've ever written to something like completion and then stuffed into a drawer; certainly it's the longest. I simply could not make the fascinating dynamic that worked in my head work on paper. Among other things, there was no way to make a roughly canonical Colby that crazy without doing a lot of setup I didn't want to do. (I was, at the time, about halfway through doing all the setup in the world to make Don and Charlie crazy enough for each other. I did not need another crazyfication epic.)
I eventually did succeed in writing Don/Colby a couple of times after that, by the expedients of not actually exploring the relationship dynamics at all and sticking to drabble length. So possibly Don/Colby doesn't count, but that one awful story is my one big failure to write a pairing I set out to write--getting distracted by something shiny and wandering off before I finished that Clone!Ten/Rose epic, or the Bones love triangle with Sully, hardly counts.
As for writing a pairing I didn't like but found I could write anyway, uh, hm. As I said, I'm vastly persuadable, so by the time I've worked my way around to writing, like, The Doctor's daughter and a Dalek, I'm convinced that they're MFEO anyway. I guess Red John/Patrick Jane was probably the most self-consciously sincerely wrong pairing I've ever successfully written.
(The most self-consciously wrong pairing that I was never able to write--both because I was forbidden by everyone I told about the bunny and because I myself couldn't really bear to have it in my head enough to properly write it--was Gerard and Mikey Way, bodyswapped into each other. For whatever that's worth.)
1 – How did you first get into writing fanfic, and what was the first fandom you wrote for? What do you think it was about that fandom that pulled you in?
2 – Name the fandoms you've written in, and how much you've written in that fandom, and if you still write in it.
3 – For each of the fandoms from day two, what were your favorite characters to write?
4 – Do you have a "muse" character, that speaks to you more than others, or that tries to push their way in, even when the fic isn't about them? Who are they, and why did that character became your muse?
5 –If you have ever had a character try to push their way into a fic, whether your "muse" or not, what did you do about it?
6 – When you write, do you prefer writing male or female characters?
7 – Have you ever had a fic change your opinion of a character?
8 – Do you write OCs? And if so, what do you do to make certain they're not Mary Sues, and if not, explain your thoughts on OCs.
9 – Pairings – For each of the fandoms from day two, what are your three favorite pairings to write?
10 – Pairings – Have you ever gone outside your comfort zone and written a pairing you liked, but found you couldn't write, or a pairing you didn't like, and found you could?
11 – Genre – do you prefer certain genres of fic when you're writing? What kind do you tend to write most?
12 – Have you ever attempted an "adaptation" fic of a favorite book or movie but set in a different fandom?
13 – Do you prefer canon or fanon when you write? Has writing fanfic for a fandom changed the way you see some or even all of the original source material?
14 – Ratings – how high are you comfortable with going? Have you ever written higher? If you're comfortable with NC-17, have you ever been shocked by finding that the story you're writing is G-rated instead?
15 – Warnings – What do you feel it most important to warn for, and what's the strangest thing you've warned for in a fic?
16 – Summaries – Do you like them or hate them? How do you come up with them, if you use them?
17 – Titles – Are they the bane of your existence, or the easiest part of the fic? Also, if you do chaptered fic, do you give each chapter a title, or not?
18 – Where do you get the most inspiration for your fics (aka "bunnies") from?
19 – When you have bunnies, do you sit down and start writing right away, or do you write down the idea for further use?
20 –Do you ever get bunnied from other people's stories or art in the same fandom?
21 – Sequels – Have you ever written a sequel to a fic you wrote, and if so, why, and if not, how do you feel about sequels?
22 – Have you ever participated in a fest or a Big Bang? If so, write about your favorite experience in relation to one. If not, are there any you've thought about doing? And if not, why not?
23 – When you post, where do you post to? Just your journal? Just an archive? Your own personal site?
24 – Betaing – How many betas do you like to use to make sure there aren't any major flaws in your fic? Do you have a Beta horror story or dream story?
25 – Music – Do you listen to music while you write? Do you make playlists to get into a certain "mood" to write your fic? Do you need noise in general? Or do you need it completely quiet?
26 – What is the oddest (or funnest) thing you've had to research for a fic?
27 – Where is your favorite place to write, and do you write by hand or on the computer?
28 – Have you ever collaborated with anyone else, whether writing together, or having an artist work on a piece about your fic?
29 – What is your current project or projects?
30 – Do you have a favorite fic you've written? What makes it your favorite? And don't forget to give us a link!
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Um. If you could have kept it in your head long enough to write it. And stuff.
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Shield your eyes! Waybrothers bodyswap deathfic ahoy!
Walk This World Alone
I think it's an orientation.
I mean, the evidence is highly fucking anecdotal, but I think it's in your DNA, just like who you're going to want to fuck: is your body the kind that hurts itself? Yes, no, maybe so?
Because I'm still me in here, as much as I can be, but it's not the same now. Mikey's fingers are strong and guitar-callused, but they won't open a bottle of pills. Mikey's skin hurts too much to break on purpose, flinches back from the razor's edge.
It's not that Mikey killed me, see? It was me. I killed Mikey.
My hands tied those knots. My feet took that leap. My mouth sucked in water. My body was the weight that dragged him under the surface. I drowned Mikey, when five minutes ago (Jesus, twenty years ago) he couldn't walk by a swimming pool without holding my hand.
And Mikey won't let me pay for that. Won't let me escape that. Mikey was always stronger than I was, in every way that mattered. Even now, hollowed out with me dropped inside, he still is.
So I don't fight him, don't fight the doctors, don't fight the drugs. Don't fight the diagnosis. Don't try to tell them the truth. I mean, why bother, right? What am I going to do? There's nobody left to save, and nobody left to save them. Gerard Way is dead, killed himself months ago. Mikey Way is an institutionalized psychotic.
And me, I'm something between.
Re: Shield your eyes! Waybrothers bodyswap deathfic ahoy!
Re: Shield your eyes! Waybrothers bodyswap deathfic ahoy!
Thank you! I always wanted to find an actual target audience to share that with, so I'm really thrilled that you asked, and that it worked for you.
Re: Shield your eyes! Waybrothers bodyswap deathfic ahoy!
(also this is probably a good time to tell you that I have read ALL of your bandom fic and thoroughly enjoyed it all, zomg, your fic is so amazing. I'm just crap about commenting....)
Re: Shield your eyes! Waybrothers bodyswap deathfic ahoy!
So, you know, thank you! And I'm glad you've enjoyed my other stories as well. :)