movie night!

[dira]

So iulia and her husband and I went and saw Prometheus. I was a little nervous going into it because a) I've never seen any of the Alien movies and b) I don't like scary movies.



Ahahahahaha that was HILARIOUSLY STUPID.

At some point fairly early on--before anyone died or was in more than NO YOU IDIOT STOP THAT IT'S GOING TO END BADLY peril--that I could no longer be scared by the movie because I was now ready for everyone to die. Because they were all too stupid to live.

Except Idris Elba and his two bickering dudes, who were smart enough to live; I was a little bit sad when they died except, you know, it meant the movie was almost over. They went out with dignity, at least.

David was also not too stupid to live, but was instead an excellent example of why you should not allow any kind of artificial intelligence to model itself on the T. E. Lawrence of Lawrence of Arabia in learning to be a person when all the humans it knows have rejected it and left it alone. And also why you shouldn't leave said artificial intelligence alone for two and a half years to be contacted and suborned by the aliens.

Also, he and Charlize Theron = hottest brother and sister act since Romeo and Juliet.

But mostly, this movie was HILARIOUSLY RIDICULOUSLY STUPID.

(There was one genuinely sort of creepy bit, which was Michael Fassbender, hanging out in the Uncanny Valley, telling Noomi Rapace she was pregnant with a hideous alien thing and then denying her an abortion while she screamed GET IT OUT OF ME. That was actually sort of creepy? And briefly made me think they were doing an interesting abortion-politics thing? And then it just went and got completely stupid again immediately thereafter.

Relatedly, I am forced to assume that the ending of the movie is something Noomi Rapace hallucinates while she is hemorrhaging to death from waaaaay too much running and way too many blows to the gut immediately after major abdominal surgery. Which is good because that means creepy David is still lying decapitated and alone on the alien planet and not piloting a ship toward some new world or worlds he can infect.)

So, yeah, we walked out of the movie and I just kept repeating "I can't create life!" and giggling because WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.

Comments

[shrift]

I had the opportunity to see Prometheus this afternoon for free, and I'm in agreement with you. While I found David delightfully malevolent, I was annoyed that the movie wasn't scary. And I don't even like scary movies! It was just DUMB.

[dira]

Yeah, it really didn't make any sense at all.

[ide_cyan]

At some point fairly early on--before anyone died or was in more than NO YOU IDIOT STOP THAT IT'S GOING TO END BADLY peril--that I could no longer be scared by the movie because I was now ready for everyone to die. Because they were all too stupid to live.

Would that be around the time they ALL decided to take off (and presumably leave behind, since we didn't see them being carried along) their helmets on the alien planetoid they'd *just* landed on?

[dira]

JUST THAT TIME, IN FACT.

[spatz]

Michael Fassbender stole every scene he was in, and Elizabeth was batshit crazy but kinda fucking fierce. But what really clinched my dislike of the movie (aside from the glaring plotholes and the whole "this is what I choose to believe" from a scientist talking about an unproven theory WHERE IS YOUR OBJECTIVITY WOMAN *froths at the mouth*) was Charlize Theron getting gratuitously crushed by the spaceship. It was a) stupid death by stupid (WHY DIDN'T YOU GO SIDEWAYS) and b) such OTT Hollywood punish-the-bitch BULLSHIT.

I was trying to figure out how the parasites worked and gave myself a headache. I think they covered ALL the transmission vectors possible, which is such a letdown after the original horrifically efficent chestburster aliens.

You should watch Alien & Aliens! You might not like the scary, but Ripley is the best and the second one has awesome space marines. I think that's where "Stay frosty" originated, come to think of it.

[dira]

I saw the power-loader scene! So that's the important-est part, right? *g*

[spatz]

Haha, yes. Though the sequence with the flamethrower immediately preceding is almost as awesome. And all the times Ripley is like "You're really not going to listen to me? Fine. *takes over*"

[petronia]

Agree with this! Like, way up to the end I completely expected the Space Jockey to be like, "Right, robot comes with me, clearly he's the only successfully evolved intelligence of you lot."

I mean, at least David's watched some movies. No one else on this crew has watched any movies whatsoever, or they would've done things differently.

[dira]

Honest to god. These were the least genre-savvy space explorers ever.

[wrabbit]

And also why you shouldn't leave said artificial intelligence alone for two and a half years to be contacted and suborned by the aliens.

Ooooh! So that's what was going on with the infection. I like this theory.

[dira]

That's what I figure, yeah. He was too quickly adept at the hieroglyphics and getting doors to open, and there was no decision process before infecting Holloway, so I think he already knew and had taken the side of the aliens.

[riverlight]

But mostly, this movie was HILARIOUSLY RIDICULOUSLY STUPID.

Okay, so I take it I shouldn't see it, then? I wanted to, simply because of Noomi Rapace—she was so great in the Girl With (Swedish) movies—but the reviews I've read have sort of been... blah.

[dira]

Noomi Rapace is sort of ... her character and the things that happen to her character don't make a lot of sense, but within that context it's a good performance? or something? But the movie as a whole is pretty incoherent, which gets especially frustrating when it's trying to be ~deep~, which it does fairly persistently.

[riverlight]

I'm always a little wary of movies that try to be deep...

Okay, so I guess I'll go see the Avengers before I try to see this. :)

[dira]

Yeah, definitely go see Avengers first! Save Prometheus for drunken-fangirl-viewing. *g*