Entry tags:
Generation Kill Fic: Participant Observer
...Still not wolf-verse. Also, gen. In fact, this is basically a gen episode tag for something that aired three years ago--specifically, the bit in the first episode where Ray knows what the war's really all about and Brad wants to know how much Ripped Fuel Ray has ingested.
Also, maybe I need an Evan icon?
Many thanks to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iulia and petra for listening, and templemarker for cheerleading and for beta in the face of inexplicable technical difficulties.
Gen. Evan and Brad. 1,000 words.
Sergeant Colbert catches Evan literally with his pants down on their first night in Iraq.
Participant Observer
Sergeant Colbert catches Evan literally with his pants down on their first night in Iraq. He'd been hoping to ease himself into the shitting-in-public part of life with Bravo Two by doing it under cover of darkness, but he's barely figured out how to keep his balance without shitting into his MOPP suit before he hears footsteps approaching out of the darkness. He freezes instinctively, and wonders if the way his ass clenches is a sign that he won't shit himself in combat. Colbert stops directly beside Evan--really close, next-urinal close--and the analogy is complete when Colbert, facing away from the Humvees like Evan, whips his dick out.
Evan never unfroze, so he's still carefully balanced in a not-shitting-on-his-own-clothes crouch, which puts Colbert's dick pretty exactly at his eye level. Evan looks straight ahead and keeps his gaze there until he hears a stream of piss hitting the dirt--at which point he figures, okay, sure, Colbert's at the next urinal. That's just how it is out here. Evan blows out a breath and debates whether he can possibly fake nonchalance well enough to take a shit with Colbert standing next to him--looming over him. Their feet are only separated by the box of baby wipes. Evan is still wondering about the diapers, and now seems like a logical time. He opens his mouth to ask.
Colbert says quietly, "What the LT said before goes all the time."
Evan says, hoping he doesn't sound as incredulous as he feels, "Excuse me?"
"What the LT said, when we unsurrendered the prisoners." Colbert's level voice doesn't change. "You should write things as you see them. I'm not telling you not to. You want to write about this conversation we're having now, you go ahead. That's up to you."
Evan considers getting his notebook out and decides against it. Whatever pissing contest Colbert thinks they're in, it seems like the wrong time to find out if the pen is mightier. "Okay."
Colbert is still pissing, and his voice is still level and expressionless. "When I said that, before, about not writing down what Ray said because you were encouraging him--I didn't mean the writing. I meant the encouraging."
"Ah," Evan says. It's starting to come together now. Evan watched Colbert physically lay Person down in a grave to sleep, maybe half an hour ago. When Person had finally stopped protesting, Colbert had walked a couple of yards away and then planted his feet, standing guard. He'd been there when Evan left to take a shit.
"Ray's going to say plenty of stupid things on his own," Colbert offers. "Write down whatever you want. I'm not saying you can't talk to him or ask him questions. I'm not telling you how to do your job."
And yet, Evan thinks, there is no actual subtext here. Colbert could not be marking his territory more obviously if he had actually dragged Person over here to piss on.
"What exactly are you telling me, then?" Evan asks, curious to see how he's going to phrase it, and just how much he'll give himself away. This is the most Colbert has exposed himself to Evan so far--he's already seen plenty of Marines showing plenty of skin and waving their literal and figurative dicks around, but none of them have approached him like this before now. Person is what the Iceman sticks his neck out for, and it's not even about Person's safety. Evan's not sure what it's about, other than Colbert being protective of Person, but he's all ears.
Colbert finishes pissing, shakes, tucks himself in and fixes his MOPP suit without speaking. Evan still doesn't look over, or up.
"I'm telling you that if there is ever one other minute in this entire goddamn invasion when my RTO is being quiet, I'd consider it a favor if you would refrain from winding him up for your own entertainment. If we were in a standoff you wouldn't grab a gun and fire into the air to see what happens, right?" The rising inflection of the question is the most intonation Colbert's had in his voice this entire time, and it sounds almost plaintive. "Just--don't pull Ray's trigger for fun either."
Evan squints into the darkness. "As a favor to you."
Colbert sighs and says, "Well, Ray's not going to ask you to. Just let him be quiet if he can, okay?"
Evan recognizes, suddenly, not just the weariness in Colbert's voice but the fact of what Colbert is doing here. He's letting Evan see how much this matters to him. Not just Ray in general--everyone in Bravo Two could have seen Colbert putting Ray to bed if they wanted to, although no one actually appeared to care or find it remarkable. It matters to Colbert how Evan himself treats Ray, that he doesn't--what did Colbert just say? Wind Ray up for his own entertainment? It matters enough to him that he'll let Evan see it mattering.
"Can't shut up when he's on Ripped Fuel, huh?" Evan says cautiously, to show Colbert he gets it.
"Can't shut up," Colbert agrees.
"I'll... try not to speak unless spoken to, when he's like that," Evan offers. It's weak. It's not a promise, and Colbert has no particular reason to trust him even if he did make one.
Colbert nods like it's what he wanted, though, and raps his knuckles on Evan's helmet before he walks away. Evan closes his eyes, makes a bet with himself about whether Colbert will have gone back to standing guard when he gets back. It's not even a sucker bet. If he's learned one thing so far, it's that he's nowhere near figuring out how these guys tick.
He'll write it down later, he thinks. And he'll write down every time he sees Colbert successfully forcing Ray to shut up. But maybe next time he'll just sit back and see how long it lasts.
And in the meantime, he's out here in the dark for a reason, and he really needs to get it over with before anyone else comes looking for him.
Also, maybe I need an Evan icon?
Many thanks to
iulia and petra for listening, and templemarker for cheerleading and for beta in the face of inexplicable technical difficulties.Gen. Evan and Brad. 1,000 words.
Sergeant Colbert catches Evan literally with his pants down on their first night in Iraq.
Participant Observer
Sergeant Colbert catches Evan literally with his pants down on their first night in Iraq. He'd been hoping to ease himself into the shitting-in-public part of life with Bravo Two by doing it under cover of darkness, but he's barely figured out how to keep his balance without shitting into his MOPP suit before he hears footsteps approaching out of the darkness. He freezes instinctively, and wonders if the way his ass clenches is a sign that he won't shit himself in combat. Colbert stops directly beside Evan--really close, next-urinal close--and the analogy is complete when Colbert, facing away from the Humvees like Evan, whips his dick out.
Evan never unfroze, so he's still carefully balanced in a not-shitting-on-his-own-clothes crouch, which puts Colbert's dick pretty exactly at his eye level. Evan looks straight ahead and keeps his gaze there until he hears a stream of piss hitting the dirt--at which point he figures, okay, sure, Colbert's at the next urinal. That's just how it is out here. Evan blows out a breath and debates whether he can possibly fake nonchalance well enough to take a shit with Colbert standing next to him--looming over him. Their feet are only separated by the box of baby wipes. Evan is still wondering about the diapers, and now seems like a logical time. He opens his mouth to ask.
Colbert says quietly, "What the LT said before goes all the time."
Evan says, hoping he doesn't sound as incredulous as he feels, "Excuse me?"
"What the LT said, when we unsurrendered the prisoners." Colbert's level voice doesn't change. "You should write things as you see them. I'm not telling you not to. You want to write about this conversation we're having now, you go ahead. That's up to you."
Evan considers getting his notebook out and decides against it. Whatever pissing contest Colbert thinks they're in, it seems like the wrong time to find out if the pen is mightier. "Okay."
Colbert is still pissing, and his voice is still level and expressionless. "When I said that, before, about not writing down what Ray said because you were encouraging him--I didn't mean the writing. I meant the encouraging."
"Ah," Evan says. It's starting to come together now. Evan watched Colbert physically lay Person down in a grave to sleep, maybe half an hour ago. When Person had finally stopped protesting, Colbert had walked a couple of yards away and then planted his feet, standing guard. He'd been there when Evan left to take a shit.
"Ray's going to say plenty of stupid things on his own," Colbert offers. "Write down whatever you want. I'm not saying you can't talk to him or ask him questions. I'm not telling you how to do your job."
And yet, Evan thinks, there is no actual subtext here. Colbert could not be marking his territory more obviously if he had actually dragged Person over here to piss on.
"What exactly are you telling me, then?" Evan asks, curious to see how he's going to phrase it, and just how much he'll give himself away. This is the most Colbert has exposed himself to Evan so far--he's already seen plenty of Marines showing plenty of skin and waving their literal and figurative dicks around, but none of them have approached him like this before now. Person is what the Iceman sticks his neck out for, and it's not even about Person's safety. Evan's not sure what it's about, other than Colbert being protective of Person, but he's all ears.
Colbert finishes pissing, shakes, tucks himself in and fixes his MOPP suit without speaking. Evan still doesn't look over, or up.
"I'm telling you that if there is ever one other minute in this entire goddamn invasion when my RTO is being quiet, I'd consider it a favor if you would refrain from winding him up for your own entertainment. If we were in a standoff you wouldn't grab a gun and fire into the air to see what happens, right?" The rising inflection of the question is the most intonation Colbert's had in his voice this entire time, and it sounds almost plaintive. "Just--don't pull Ray's trigger for fun either."
Evan squints into the darkness. "As a favor to you."
Colbert sighs and says, "Well, Ray's not going to ask you to. Just let him be quiet if he can, okay?"
Evan recognizes, suddenly, not just the weariness in Colbert's voice but the fact of what Colbert is doing here. He's letting Evan see how much this matters to him. Not just Ray in general--everyone in Bravo Two could have seen Colbert putting Ray to bed if they wanted to, although no one actually appeared to care or find it remarkable. It matters to Colbert how Evan himself treats Ray, that he doesn't--what did Colbert just say? Wind Ray up for his own entertainment? It matters enough to him that he'll let Evan see it mattering.
"Can't shut up when he's on Ripped Fuel, huh?" Evan says cautiously, to show Colbert he gets it.
"Can't shut up," Colbert agrees.
"I'll... try not to speak unless spoken to, when he's like that," Evan offers. It's weak. It's not a promise, and Colbert has no particular reason to trust him even if he did make one.
Colbert nods like it's what he wanted, though, and raps his knuckles on Evan's helmet before he walks away. Evan closes his eyes, makes a bet with himself about whether Colbert will have gone back to standing guard when he gets back. It's not even a sucker bet. If he's learned one thing so far, it's that he's nowhere near figuring out how these guys tick.
He'll write it down later, he thinks. And he'll write down every time he sees Colbert successfully forcing Ray to shut up. But maybe next time he'll just sit back and see how long it lasts.
And in the meantime, he's out here in the dark for a reason, and he really needs to get it over with before anyone else comes looking for him.
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(Anonymous) 2011-09-28 05:11 am (UTC)(link)I love the way your characters interact even when they aren't interacting. And I love your Brad and Ray.
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And, yay! I love my Brad and Ray too. :)
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...than the dick? *g*
I really liked the outsider POV here. They're all such a tightly-knit group and must really be hard to get a handle on for Evan.
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I'm really enjoying the TWOP recaps, by the way; have you read them? Literally laugh-out-loud funny, and at times really insightful. I keep copying-and-pasting lines that I want to save to think about.
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I ADORE the TWOP recaps--I think I read at least the first one before I saw the miniseries, and it definitely helped me decode what the hell was going on in the first episode, the first time I watched it. For sure the recapper influenced my view of Brad. OH BRAD.
well, this got long. sorry, lady!
Yes, exactly! I was just reading the TWOP recap for ep 2 last night, and came across this bit about Brad, in the context of that story about his girlfriend leaving him for his best friend:
It's sad, and maybe a little bitter, but the scariest thing is the impression that he's not entirely being sarcastic. I mean, we know him at Camp Mathilda and here in the field, he's awesome, kind, takes care of people without even thinking twice. He's smart, honorable, knows who to trust, knows how far to push and which way, takes care of his men, is good at the business of war. But Iceman's also an adult who was once a young person who drew tanks in the corners of his notebooks. He's a little weird. We know him as a hero, or what heroes look like right now, but at home... I can't shake the image of him showing up at their house, after a tour, and he's just ... this broken guy, who didn't really engage too much in his one chance at falling in love and being normal, and watched everything slip by. And you're all growing into adults together and it's just like, "Well, that's Brad. He's on the couch sleeping right now, it's a long story. We try and make sure he ... eats." The Corps was everything and there's a time when the Corps should be everything, but I don't think forever is an appropriate amount of time.I love Iceman, at least the Evan version of Brad: all the weird edges and traps and everything, all of it, because he's on my team. But I would definitely put him in the category of people who maybe can't retroactively adapt entirely back to normal, which makes me love him a whole lot more. Like if they gave some Marines ... gills. To breathe underwater or something, in the future. Future war. Maybe some of those guys can't change back, and they have to stay down there. All alone, still dangerous and strong, where it's quiet and it's dark. And maybe that's Brad.
I just love that. There's something so powerful in there, about motivations, and the way our choices affect us, and why Brad is such a delightful character to read and write. I have a hard time with a lot of the fic in this fandom, I confess, because so often it seems to reduce him to a very uni-dimensional character whose primary personality trait is that he's the Iceman, cold and sharp and take-no-shit and impatient with stupidity. But that misses half the point, which is that he's the man who shares his Skittles with his team, and tries to take care of Nate, and gets heartbroken over the damage they're inflicting on people in the name of war. I've never read him as someone who had too few emotions (which sometimes seems to be the way "Iceman" is interpreted) but rather as someone who has too many, and the Iceman persona is his way of trying to contain that messiness, that molten roil of feelings, that he otherwise doesn't know how to deal with. Whew, this got long. Um. Sorry? I don't know, maybe it's nothing new; I haven't really read much meta about characterization (hell, I haven't even finished watching the series, yet, since I keep wanting to rewatch), so maybe this ground has been gone over ten million times before. But from my perspective as a newbie in the fandom, this is what keeps catching at me...
Re: well, this got long. sorry, lady!
(That scene where he's talking about his girlfriend, and the bit from the sixth? episode where he says "Better now" are like PILLARS of my thesis of Brad Is So Broken He Doesn't Even Know How Broken He Is. Also I love that the TWOP recapper basically just wrote his own Brad fic there. And I would read the extended version of that A MILLION TIMES. Because yes.)
And, yay! 7PM on Tuesday it is! By all means, let's start this week! \o/
Re: well, this got long. sorry, lady!