I am a runner.

[dira]

I am a runner.

I feel confident in claiming this identity not because I have the hard-earned t-shirts in my bottom drawer - one from a two-mile fun run, one from a 5K - nor because I have my eye on my next 5K (It's called Run With Wolfes, you guys), nor because I own actualfax running shoes and love them quite irrationally. I'm sure I can call myself a runner because I got out of bed on the Sunday of vividcon, got out of bed and ate a Clif bar and then went down to the fitness center and ran for fifty-two minutes on a treadmill.

On VividCon Sunday, you guys.

I've been noticing, lately, that I don't resist running--that I in fact resist having my running schedule disrupted. In July, while off in the wilds of West Michigan for a few days with my family, I got up and went out and ran on the dirt roads around the camp. Twice! I developed a standard route!

resonant's post about yoga made me think of this, partly because it echoes a lot of the ways I feel about running--mostly the wish that someone would have told me a lot sooner that I could do this, if I just went slowly and was patient with the process of getting stronger.

Part of it is different, though. I am a runner, but I'm still not at all sure that I actually like running. It's sort of, you know, boring. And repetitive. And physically unpleasant. I spent most of today's run staring at my watch, telling myself I could drop to a walk in just another minute if I really had to. I occasionally have moments of feeling like I've hit my stride, like everything has fallen into place and running is, for a stretch, easy. But I've rarely, if ever, experienced a runner's high. It's not really fun, although I keep hoping that it someday will be, when I'm stronger and faster and better.

But I'm a runner anyway: because neither of my parents made it to their sixty-second birthday without coronary bypass surgery; because it's good to do just one thing for an hour three times a week; because I have a perverse love for those post-run muscle twitches in my quads, like a car pinging as it cools; because I get to listen to podcasts and audio books. Because I want to keep getting better at it. Because I can.

Comments

[pollitt]

fantastic post ( and yay for you to run on Sunday of VividCon!) I've fallen off my running routine this summer and it's thrown me off a bit. I can't wait to get back into it (I have 5Ks in the pipeline and I'm excited for those) and your post makes me inspired.

[dira]

*cheers you on*

Yay you!

I'm going to be down in Chicagoland for Thanksgiving (well, western Cook County), so I've been poking around looking for Turkey Trots in the area. Are you doing one of those?

[norah]

I am totally inspired. I don't do ANYTHING physical at the moment other than walk to and from the train...I should be cool like you!

[dira]

I am a role model, it's true. *g*

[kass]

You are so awesome, I can't even.

[dira]

*beams*

[frostfire]

YAY RUNNING. I am alllllmost ready to get back on the saddle (since thankfully, dancing like a crazy person at Club Vivid does not seem to have relapsed my slowest-ever-healing knee).

I combat boredom while running with SERIOUS RUNNING MUSIC. (I get bored and impatient with audiobooks, and Night Vale's the only podcast I really listen to.) I make a careful running playlist based on how long I am to be running (and what pace I want to go at for what length of time and so on), and it is full of Rihanna and Queen and Lady Gaga and My Chemical Romance and so on. Also I run in places with nice stuff to look at. ALL THE ADVICE I HAVE.

[dira]

YAAAAY RUNNING!

Music doesn't really alleviate boredom for me--I constantly listen to music, so I automatically tune it out to some extent, and it doesn't occupy my thoughts. When I was doing more run/walk intervals I tended to be able to just Think About The Running while running, but now that it's just this one long go, I get bored. I'm listening my way through Welcome to Night Vale again right now, and then I've got a Terry Pratchett novel. After that, possibly I start listening my way through all the Vorkosigan books or else it's time to listen through The Student Prince again, idk.

[grammarwoman]

*applause* That is so freaking awesome! Get down with your bad self. :)

The part that resonates most with me is "because I have a perverse love for those post-run muscle twitches in my quads, like a car pinging as it cools"; on those rare occasions when I've gotten into the habit of exercising, the post-workout satisfaction of "I moved my body and it liked it, and I like how that feels" was what kept me going.

Now I just have to fit it back into my life.

[dira]

*boogies in celebration*

And, yeah, I have the good fortune of a slightly wonky work schedule, so that I can often do my three runs a week on days I either don't have to work or don't have to work until 11:30. That makes it a bit easier for me.

[elizaria]

I've a shitty hip so running isn't really something I can do anymore. But it's something I miss. Along with horseback riding and going all out at the gym. But I am doing so much better thanks to PT the past 6-7? years that it's not even comparable. Anyway, this summer I've been walking a lot and I even jogged twice and I can't describe the grin on my face when I felt everything move as it was supposed to. Unfortunately I probably pushed it the second time because I ached the next day more than I should, BUT it means I can jog short stretches and maybe work up my stamina :D So yes, running = yay \0/

[dira]

Yaaaay slowly and carefully returning to running! Honestly my running is probably jogging, if that, but I prefer to say I run very very slowly. *g*

[celli]

WOLFES.

I knew the good twin was a runner when she ran the morning of her wedding day to relax.

[dira]

WOOOOOOOOOOLFES.

(It's a run benefitting brain cancer research, founded by a family named Wolfe in honor of their son--a cause rather dear to my heart. Also, WOLVES.)

I am already looking forward to going down to the Lake to run for an hour the morning after moving day. Which is in two weeks, oh god. o.O

[mmegaera]

Good for you. I'm starting to feel that way about the 2-mile walks I take several times a week.

[dira]

Yay walking! \o/

[ariadnes_string]

Thank you for this post--it really resonated with me! I especially agree with this: the wish that someone would have told me a lot sooner that I could do this, if I just went slowly and was patient with the process of getting stronger. I guess one good thing about getting older is that one doesn't have to worry about being "good at" the things one does for fun (or, you know, for the mental health benefits they provide, which is really mostly why I run--plus the audiobooks).

I still have weird issues about saying "I am a runner," even though I've been doing it pretty seriously for three years now, ran a 10k and a 10 mile last year, and am hoping to run a half marathon in October. I think because I'm slow and I don't look like the image of "a runner" I have in my head. Your post is inspiring me to get over all that, though!

Happy trails!

[holdouttrout]

Ditto on being really glad that I now know that working at something very, very slowly sometimes pays off. I, too, wish I'd known that sooner.

[dira]

You are much further along than I am! I've been running semi-seriously for not quite two years, and have only run the one 5K so far--and I think there were definitely people walking the 5K who beat my time, is how slow I run. But whatever, I didn't say I was a good runner or a fast runner, just a runner. Like you! :D

[holdouttrout]

I SO know what you mean about the post-muscle twitches, and also what you mean about not really liking running. I like having run, or being able to run, but the actual running is usually not all that fun. (I've had two or three runs that actually felt pretty good.)

I also have discovered that exercise is a wonderful thing to have in my arsenal at cons when I inevitably wake up hours before other people and have to kill time SOMEHOW. Plus, having exercised makes my body happier about sitting in chairs the rest of the day.

[dira]

Yeah, it definitely felt good on Sunday to get up and run--although with the Friday night dance party I wasn't feeling too sedentary. And, since the party was Friday night and not Saturday night, not too hungover on Sunday, either. *g*

There are definitely times when I feel a bit more WOO YAY GOOD RUN afterward than others. Not too many when I stagger in all exhausted and miserable, thankfully. :)

[riverlight]

I LOVE THIS POST. This is the kind of post I love seeing coming out of this retro challenge—something thoughtful and well-written and true! Yay.

(I agree with you, FWIW, re: not actually liking running. I like having done it, I like being a person who does it, but most of the time I only ever enjoy it after the fact.)

[dira]

*beams*

I love this comment! ♥ And I hope the tailing end of the move is going well.

And, yeah, I've kind of come to accept that I like all the stuff about running, if not the running itself--it's actually what makes it sort of a surprising realization for me that I don't have to talk myself into it on running days anymore. But I guess I've internalized that this is what I do on Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday mornings. *g*

[riverlight]

Yay!

Gosh, I need to get back to running. Now that I live in a place where there is a park, this will hopefully be significantly easier!

[dira]

Having a park is important! Although my thing, this year, is that I have to actually cowboy up and join a gym for the winter so I can run indoors and not let snow/ice/fear of snow and ice/injuries from slipping on ice stop me for months on end like they did this year.

[riverlight]

OH MAN THAT IS BOLD. I haven't gotten that far! Though otoh Sister C and I are in the process of investigating the local Y, so maybe that'll be a good option?

[dira]

Could be! I will probably go for the Snap Fitness a few blocks from my new place--one of those mostly-unstaffed anytime-access gyms. I really just need a treadmill indoors, so that would cover it. *g*