dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Dira Sudis ([personal profile] dira) wrote2015-01-26 11:12 pm

I really love the Dumpster, you guys

So, uh, if you read my journal here, you... may have noticed that I have slid into a corner of Captain America fandom known as the Hydra Trash Party. In case you have not worked out what that phrase signifies, here is the fanlore article for the Hydra Trash Party. (I wrote that! I am weirdly, intensely proud of it.)

We've gone ten rounds of "non-con fic is awful and no one should write it" wank over on Tumblr lately--there is always going to be one more outraged person on Tumblr tagging their outrage for trash partiers to find and argue with--but in the last 24 hours I've been really, really feeling my love for the Dumpster and all my trashmates.



So for me the trash party is a throwback to a part of fandom that I never really participated in during its heyday: the mostly anonymous Dreamwidth-based kinkmeme. The hydratrashmeme is juuust busy enough to make me feel engaged without being totally overwhelming (and the things that are not relevant to my interests generally have nice, descriptive subject lines so I can delete the notifications unread/scroll quickly past them). I've written a couple of things to prompts and am following some awful/wonderful WIPs and generally, you know, enjoying the whole anon/kinkmeme experience for the first time in 2015.

So last night a prompt got posted for a scenario where Bucky was sexually abused by various Hydra personnel over the years, and recordings of those abuses went out in Natasha's Hydra Data Dump, and consequently there is now all this horrible footage of Bucky out on the internet: it's a scaldingly awful scenario to contemplate, and my first reaction to it was NO NO NO DID NOT HAPPEN DO NOT WANT.

But then I watched the comments start flowing in as people speculated about how this would play out--the ways Steve would try to protect Bucky, but also the ways this would hinder Bucky's recovery, the shame he would feel in this exposure repeating his trauma again and again, and so on. By the time I went to bed last night it was just a dark well of infinite suffering.

And then this morning, the collective speculation about the scenario continued--but it hit an inflection point, and various anons started talking about how Bucky would push through even this and recover, would reclaim his own agency, would identify himself without shame as a survivor and bear up fiercely under the scrutiny, not only for his own sake but for the sake of every other survivor shamed for the ordeal they'd been put through, and this vortex of suffering turned into a thousand possible triumphs for Bucky. It just made me so happy to watch all of these anonymous trash partiers decide to turn that corner and find a way for Bucky to overcome even the most miserable of compounded traumas, just because none of us could bear to leave him at the bottom of that well.

It felt like a whole microcosm of fandom, the way we tell stories to each other, try out different possibilities, arrive sometimes at a consensus about the kinds of stories we want and then tell them out and elaborate them, all gathering together around a character or a pairing or a trope or a single prompt.

So, yes. I really love the Dumpster, you guys. I really love my fandom and my people, both narrowly and broadly construed. And I really really love anyone who actually clicked through and read all of that.


PS, tonight Tumblr led me unto the Internet Archive's collection of every episode of The Joy of Painting, in case you need some soothing palate-cleanser and/or a kindly affirmation that you can do whatevvvvver you want with the fictional worlds you create.

(Bucky cries a lot in mine, that's just how I like things to be. Maybe in yours he's happy and eats pizza and has a lot of happy sex with the partner or partners of his choosing! Everybody gets to make their own world. Thanks, Bob Ross.)
minim_calibre: (Default)

[personal profile] minim_calibre 2015-01-27 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
<3

I love the Dumpster. I lurk, but I lurk there with love.
minim_calibre: (Default)

[personal profile] minim_calibre 2015-01-27 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I am so much more lurker-y than I used to be. But I'm there often enough that it shows up before my own DW account when I start to type Dreamwidth in my address bar.
kass: Captain America's shield. (shield)

[personal profile] kass 2015-01-27 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
It just made me so happy to watch all of these anonymous trash partiers decide to turn that corner and find a way for Bucky to overcome even the most miserable of compounded traumas, just because none of us could bear to leave him at the bottom of that well.

That is...honestly awesome. Thank you for writing this post! This is a corner of fandom about which I know very little, and yet you've found a way to make it relatable for me.
sperrywink: (Default)

[personal profile] sperrywink 2015-01-27 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Glad you're having so much fun!

(But, omg, I would feel so bad for the characters! I read some H/C, but only sporadically and with authors I generally trust).
grammarwoman: Steve & Natasha look worried into a window (Steve & Natasha Winter Soldier)

[personal profile] grammarwoman 2015-01-27 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I've read a few of your Hydra trash party offerings; they bring new levels to the phrase "hurts so good!" :)

I love how fandom is indeed so very awesome. Thank you for bringing up this iteration of it!
schneefink: River walking among trees, from "Safe" (Default)

[personal profile] schneefink 2015-01-27 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm very glad you wrote that Fanlore article! I looked the term up a few weeks ago after I saw it on Tumblr, not very optimistic that I would find anything because Fanlore is often slow in adding new things, but I was happy to find a very good explanation :)
cesperanza: (Default)

[personal profile] cesperanza 2015-01-27 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I love that reading of the prompt!!!
cesperanza: (Default)

[personal profile] cesperanza 2015-01-29 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
Wow. There should be, like, a prize for that.
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Lady in Blue)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2015-02-10 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD OHH MY GOD MY EYES JUST FILLED WITH TEARS.
I really hope that image is in the story someone wrote for the prompt (it looks like a lovely story but at 11.5K I haven;t read it yet.)

I
the_shoshanna: boys playing Bump 'Em Hump 'Em Robots (bump 'em hump 'em robots)

[personal profile] the_shoshanna 2015-01-28 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
I've dipped a few toes in the Trash Party, but warily, because a lot of what I've seen there is more dark than I've wanted to be reading lately -- but that discussion sounds very Related To My Interests. Can you share a link?
the_shoshanna: my boy kitty (Default)

[personal profile] the_shoshanna 2015-01-29 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, very cool, thank you!
iulia: (DRD love)

[personal profile] iulia 2015-01-28 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so happy that you found your dumpster. <3 <3 <3
krait: a sea snake (krait) swimming (Default)

[personal profile] krait 2015-01-28 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
I cannot tell a lie: the HTP is responsible for a few of my abso-very-lutely favourite fics in this fandom! ♥

Then again, I'm one of the fen who falls into the "we have had this wank before, and I was tired of it then" camp. Kids get offa my noncon lawn! (I've been cracking up lately at the "how was fandom/fic different Back In The Day?" post circulating on Tumblr, too, because yep. Been there for and done most of that!)
goss: (Default)

[personal profile] goss 2015-01-28 11:39 am (UTC)(link)
♥ you, and Bob Ross too. :)

Some of them have comfort?

[personal profile] eileenlufkin 2015-01-28 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I have avoided the trash party because I thought one of the mottoes was all the hurt, none of the comfort. If some of them have comfort, even if it's more realistic recovery than fluff, I would be interested. Is there a tag for that, or a rec page or anything?

Re: Some of them have comfort?

[personal profile] eileenlufkin 2015-01-29 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks. There's only two stories taged Bucky's broken Dick on AO3 so far, but they are what I was looking for. Searching for Hydra trash party and kink negotiation got the same two. I tried Hydra trash and rape recovery and got this: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1741133 which I liked a lot.

Re: Some of them have comfort?

[personal profile] eileenlufkin 2015-01-30 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks again. Those were both great in two different fannish ways; the ever sprawling tapestry and the cutting gem.
brownbetty: (Default)

[personal profile] brownbetty 2015-01-31 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
They thing about the trash pretty for me is that I'm basically neutral about it. I'm a little put off by some parts of it and intrigued by other parts but on the balance it's not my thing. But what I really love is some of the stuff that falls out of the dumpster.

I want to read about a Bucky who is really messed up by his time in HYDRA and it seems like the default way to portray Bucky's damage in fandom is an intensely passive reaction to trauma, (which is obviously possible.) But I have encountered a wide variety of human fucked-up and I've got to tell you , people respond to trauma in every single way and generally poorly. And the place to find a really fucked up Bucky is often in the dumpster.
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Lady in Blue)

[personal profile] minoanmiss 2015-02-10 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
How did I miss this beautiful, honest, awesome post?! *hugs it and you*

PS I am keeping this in my memories and rereading it the next time people wank about the HTP (and the next and the next and the next...)

PPS Your article is clear, concise, and excellent. Well done, promulgator of knowledge!
Edited 2015-02-10 23:03 (UTC)