dira: Nate Fick, keeping his chin up (Nate - Chin Up)
February 19: [livejournal.com profile] _whiskers asks, do you consider GK an RPF fandom? Why or why not?

Hmmm. Mostly yes--there are real guys with these characters' names, and it's their real lives I and my fellow GK fandomers are basing fic on. I personally certainly have written copious amounts of One Bullet Away fanfic under the banner of GK fandom.

At the same time, we're all definitely working off the HBO fictionalized versions of these guys, and the packaged, memoir-ized versions, plus the slightly less filtered RPF fodder of information about their lives that have trickled out in the years since the miniseries. I feel like it's definitely an RPF fandom at a slightly greater remove than most things that you would unquestioningly call an RPF fandom--maybe a bit more like writing fic about My Chemical Romance's Danger Days personas than writing fic about them directly, as a vague analogy. It's Stark Sands and Alexander Skarsgard who I picture when I'm picturing Nate and Brad having sex, not Nate Fick Actual and Brad Colbert Actual, so in that way there is a difference. The way I ship these guys has a lot to do with acting and directing choices from the miniseries, less to do with anything that comes from the Actual Guys Themselves.

And all of that said, I have bounced between RPF and FPF so long, and have worn down so many of my moral lines about which is okay and which isn't, that I find the question of whether or not it's an RPF fandom mostly uninteresting. I know that people who are in the fandom operate in different places along a spectrum of engaging with information about the real guys in fiction--many people deliberately use fictional names for their family members, reject the ~canon~ of what we know about their real lives post-2008, and of course this is also the root of a lot of the keep-it-secret-keep-it-safe attitude of the fandom--and I'm okay with meeting people wherever they are with that. For me I write it in a pretty-RPF-y way and I'm comfortable doing so.

I will say that back in bandom, when the fourth wall was getting punctured in various ways (VickyT commenting on fic about her! Pete Wentz's everything!) I realized that my point of anxiety about real people finding the fic I wrote about them was not that they would be upset by it (because whatever, if you don't want to read fic about yourself don't read fic about yourself, you're an adult) but that they would know what I got wrong. With the GK guys I don't even feel like I need to worry about that. Although...

...So maybe I should be more concerned, but idk, that seems like a pretty supportive reaction. :)
dira: Allison Argent, smiling delightedly (Allison - Smile)
I'm doing a give-me-topics meme, and I have several days left, so feel free to ask away!

February 3: [livejournal.com profile] chelletoo asked, What was your first fandom and how involved are you still in it?

There are a few answers to this!

My first fandom that I participated in online, shared with real-life friends, and wrote fic for was The X-Files, starting right around the premiere of Season 3 in 1995. I gave up on writing fic, and mostly stopped reading it, after a year or so, when my canon-consistency-loving heart was broken by trying to keep fic in line with a canon that was not in line with itself half the time. Also of course I was going to be a Serious Writer and I had a novel to work on. I kept watching the show and squeeing about it with Iulia for years afterward (although the squee declined considerably toward the end). My current level of involvement is "sometimes but not always reblog when it comes across my Tumblr dash."

The first fandom of my continuous involvement in slash fandom--the one where I got my name, Dira--was popslash, although I never wrote in it and deleted the LJ I used to participate in it due to interpersonal drama. But it brought me to fandom and gave me my name, so &popslash;. My current level of involvement is "...is that still a thing? Huh. I wonder what those guys are up to these days."

The first fandom where I posted fic online and other people read it was Buffy. This is also where I got the Sudis part of my name, so it's the real start of my current fannish identity. My current level of involvement is "sometimes but not always reblog when it comes across my Tumblr dash."

But I think none of these is really the true answer, because the first fandom of my heart, the one that was really formative--and the one that came first chronologically, if we allow me trying to be like my big brother by literally stealing his books when he wasn't looking as a fannish act--was the Vorkosigan Saga. This was the first fandom that I was really involved in in terms of being part of a community and getting to know people--fic wasn't a big part of the mailing list at the time I was first participating, c.1995-1999, so I didn't write fic, but I began relationships that still persist to this day. Just the other day I had a Listie background-checking someone I was going to stay with via another Listie, because Listie family never quits. I am still writing Vorkosigans fic, and the Vorkosigan Saga will always be a huge huge part of my fannish heart.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
I'm doing a give-me-topics-and-dates February meme, and the second half of February is still pretty open, so feel free to make requests!

February 1: [livejournal.com profile] alethialia, what draws you to particular characters/fandoms? Are there specific types you prefer over others? Is there a perfect storm of characteristics, so to speak?

For characters, as it says in my DW/LJ user info: The blond is just about always my favorite. The blond, or the regular, good, competent guy who tends to get overshadowed by his freakishly gifted partner/brother/colleague/boss/subordinate/bandmate(s)/etc. Bonus points for smile lines and ~MANPAIN~. As you will note, this means my favorites are essentially always male (I am now having a little Sleepy Hollow crisis, because I have no idea who my favorite is there: possibly Abbie, which would mean I was breaking type in all directions). If there is not an overshadowed regular competent guy, I will take the saddest guy whose sadness is not being satisfactorily addressed in canon or by fandom.

To wit: In Teen Wolf, Derek Hale is hands down my favorite everything forever, because he is sad and neglected and canon really, really does not address his sadness (fandom is of course ALL OVER his sadness, thank you fandom, ilu). If the show were about the grownups, the sheriff would without question be my favorite (he's even kinda blond!) and as it is I am dreadfully fond of him. In Generation Kill I started out having Brad Colbert as my favorite (SO MUCH UNADDRESSED SADNESS) and then after about six months in the fandom my brain shifted over to being a crazed Nate Fick partisan, possibly on behalf of the very sad Nate I carried around in my head or possibly because I read too much fic that I felt was not treating Nate right. In the Vorkosigan Saga I am always and forever an Aral Vorkosigan fan--he may in fact be the archetype of which all other favorite characters are shadows--because he is the saddest, most overshadowed in the narrative, most dazzlingly competent, smile-line-est of them all. My next-favorites are Mark and Ivan, both of whom are sad in their own ways, competent in their own rights, and spent so much time in Miles's shadow that their respective escapes defined the trajectory of their adult lives. Und so weiter.

For fandoms, I usually get into them backward, through fanworks or fandom squee. Tumblr gifsets were responsible for my fall into Teen Wolf and more recently my watching of Sleepy Hollow (and Legally Blonde and The Heat and... a lot of things really). I got into Generation Kill through soulbond fic, into Numb3rs through kidnapping fic, into bandom through hookerfic, popslash through a freedom fighter AU, into Due South through fanart and then kidfic. I even got into the Vorkosigan Saga because it was what my (profoundly idolized) big brother was reading, when he was sixteen and I was twelve, and the X-Files because it was what Iulia was squeeing about during gym class. The only show I can think of that I got into simply by watching the show is Buffy, and I'm not sure that counts either, since I was at a science fiction convention screening when I first saw it. So: I find my fandoms through fandom.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Question 17. What is your most proud moment?

...Well, whatever it turns out to be it is definitely not going to be this moment, when I realized that I cannot answer questions about myself without consulting [personal profile] iulia. This moment is a bit facepalmy about my codependent memory-storage practices.

The most deeply, giddily chuffed moment that springs to mind is eleven years ago--I believe in fact that it was December 18, 2002--which was the first time I got feedback on a fic I'd posted to a mailing list. Mad Poetess told me she liked my story, you guys. That was it, fandom owned my soul forever. :D

Question 18, really more of a comment. The meaning behind your blog name

My name here on Dreamwidth, as it was the very first time I got a LiveJournal, is dira. dira is a singular that doesn't actually exist in Latin--it's derived from a noun that only exists in the plural: dirae, the Furies. I chose the name Dira for myself when I was dipping a toe into popslash and all my most cherished bunnies, never to be written, involved horrible fates befalling my BSOs, which seems to be a theme that has carried forward in my writing career.

My name on LJ, tumblr, twitter, and many other places, is dsudis, which is really D. Sudis, for Dira Sudis. I modeled it on Mad Poetess, who then had [livejournal.com profile] mpoetess as an LJ handle. The Sudis part of my name is another Latin word, the genitive of sudis, which means spike. I chose that part of my name in the throes of Buffy fandom.

So in whatever form you encounter it in the titles of my various social media things: my name means Spike's Fury.

Question 19: 19. What do you collect?

Books. Books are really the main thing.

Also I now have a sufficiently prodigious collection of Christmas ornaments that they don't really all fit on the tree. That's rather pleasing to me.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Tonight was the monthly meeting of my local SF book club. I hadn't actually read the book (Nalo Hopkinson's Midnight Robber, which was generally liked by the group, though I gather the dialect it's written in was a challenge and the subject matter included child abuse and incest--a bit of a Donkeyskin/Deerskin story, structurally, I think) but I went anyway, because I don't like missing out on my once-a-month chance to hang out with my book group peeps.

It struck me tonight--maybe partly because I was effectively lurking, except when I couldn't restrain a remark and/or got put on the spot by a direct question tangential to the actual book--how much this was like my foundational fannish experience: the Lois McMaster Bujold Mailing List, c.1996. I'd already been a fan of LMB's books for a few years by then--I read The Vor Game for the first time when I was twelve, and the rest as I could find them, in whatever order I laid hands on them--but we got internet in the fall of 1995, just before I turned 14. I spent a lot of time in X-Files AOL chat rooms that fall and winter, but I also found my way to the List, which soon became my home and family in a way that is hard to even describe, let alone really make understood to people who weren't on the List then. It was full of all these people who loved the books I loved and had read way more books than I had--who were smarter, more widely educated (whether in schools or through their own experiences), and more articulate than I could yet dream of being, and they never seemed impatient with me despite my overwhelming fifteen-year-old-ness. They were kind; they taught me to expect good things of fans, fandom, and the internet, and to try to be a good thing in turn. I grew up on the List.

And eventually, like all fannish communities, it went a bit sideways, and then I discovered slash fandom: another home, another family. I still go to SF cons regularly, and have gotten to feel very much at home (and surrounded by literal as well as figurative--biological as well as affinal--family) there. But two years ago, determined to have some sort of social life in the city where I live, I started going to the SF book group and, readers, I love my book group.

There's just something wonderful about sitting crowded around a table with a dozen people, listening to them hash out their reactions to a book I haven't read a single page of, because I want to share it with them even if I didn't actually read it. It's this beautiful microcosm of SF fandom--we manage to represent most of the major archetypes, I think--and it's my people. My book group. ♥

Also, when we went around at the end of the night and everyone reported what they'd been reading, the new guy said "the Vorkosigan books" and I actually straight up clapped my hands in delight. One of these years I am going to get the group to read a Bujold book and then I will die of happiness and/or shiv somebody for not loving it enough.

Like we do

Nov. 1st, 2012 06:48 am
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
So for the past few weeks, I've been obtaining episodes of a certain British TV show for a work-friend of mine, who is not fannish and not plugged into fannish means of obtaining stuff, but who managed to suss out that I am. No big deal, right, because I have a pretty easy means of getting my hands on it and that's what we do--if I can get my hands on something and somebody else can't, I'll try to help her out. That's how it works. Except that if you're not in fandom apparently sometimes you feel like you have to thank a person who helps you out with chocolate. Not that I'm not okay with chocolate, but I belatedly realized that I should have held out for making her watch Teen Wolf with me as my price.

Also, it led me to work out the following:

A friend will obtain media for you.
A good friend will watch it with you.
Your best friend will write you kinky rarepair porn about it when it's not even Yuletide yet.

I think that seems about right. Although it may make me not a good fan-friend to Iulia, considering the number of things I have politely declined to watch with her, let alone write kinky rarepair porn about. Sorry, bb.


dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Dira Sudis

April 2019

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