dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
February 18: [personal profile] ride_4ever asks about the writing of Hawks and Hands.

Oh my god you guys I started writing Hawks & Hands just about ten years ago. o.O What even is the passage of time, that is impossible.

Ahem. Anyway. For most of the time I was writing H&H, [personal profile] iulia was in her first year of law school, and I was living alone for the first time and had a very limited local social life and was still pretty monofannish in Due South. (I am prone to refer to H&H as the baby I had to save my relationship with Due South, because I was sort of drifting out of the fandom--into Firefly and Stargate SG-1, among other things--and incepted myself back into DS by writing H&H. And, uh, that worked out about as well as having a baby ever does to save a relationship, and I was emphatically out of Due South within a few months after posting H&H in February 2005.)

So, uh, let's see. Things I remember about writing Hawks & Hands:

1) It was all I did for eleven months. It was all I could talk about for eleven months. SORRY EVERYONE I INTERACTED WITH BETWEEN MARCH 2004 AND FEBRUARY 2005. All I was doing, most of the time, was going to work (where I did research for my fic and chatted with people about my fic and incidentally did my not-very-demanding job and occasionally also read and wrote other fic), and then going home to work on my fic. My big regular social outlet was a friend's write club, where a handful of us writers would get together and write at a coffee shop once a week; I was the lone active fanwriter of the group and, uh. The other members of the group are definitely included in the above apology. SORRY EVERYONE. I'M BETTER AT SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE FILTERING NOW. MOSTLY.

2) It was... intense. There were definitely at least two separate instances where I cried over it, and as someone sort of new in fandom and, in retrospect, going through some other things wrt my friendships and relationships at the time, I really put a lot of pressure on myself to write this story quickly and well and it got weird sometimes.

But I wrote a 200,000-word story in eleven months and people liked it at the end, and honest to God most of that time was not spent crying, most of it was about loving the story and the characters and hockey. HOCKEYYYYYYYYYYYYY. <3__________<3

3) In retrospect I sort of laugh and want to pat myself on the head for the way I would get totally paralyzed every time I skirted the edge of writing RPF about hockey players. I would just be like OMG I AM MAKING UP DIALOGUE FOR CHRIS CHELIOS and lose like three days of writing because I just had to make horrified faces at my computer.

(I'm pretty sure that even then I took some delight in gently implying that Brett Hull would totally have liked to hook up with Ray Kowalski if they could ever get over punching each other all the time, though. Er. If that implication ever made it into the story as such? Maybe I just enjoyed imagining making that implication. YOU GUYS, I WAS TOTALLY SHIPPING RAY KOWALSKI/BRETT HULL CASUAL HATE SEX IN MY HEAD, JSYK.)

4) I went just a little bit out of order. Normally I write in fairly strict sequence, except that occasionally I will write a particular pivotal/dramatic/climactic scene in advance, if I have it really clear in my head and don't want to forget what I've figured out for it. What I generally don't do is, say, post that advance-written scene as its own flashfic so that I'm more or less committed to things going just the way I've written in that draft.

But I did with Hawks and Hands! I wrote a (really! pivotal!) sex scene out of order for the "Many Tongues" challenge at [livejournal.com profile] ds_flashfic and posted it March 15, 2004, nearly eleven months before I posted Hawks and Hands in its entirety, and I somehow actually managed to make that work--I changed a very little of the dialogue to reflect the exact things they'd said to each other in the story before then, but for the most part I didn't have to change the final version of that scene at all. (If you're curious, the flashfic is here: Code-Switching)

5) It was hands down the best beta experience I have ever had on a long fic, still, even ten years later. [personal profile] iulia and [personal profile] brooklinegirl were reading along with me, scene by scene as I wrote, giving all kinds of feedback nearly every day, so I was editing on the fly before each day's new writing. It was awesome, hugely encouraging, and that was a big part of why I was able to write so much so fast.

dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)

I may possibly have shown this to people at work this morning. Because there is no other way to explain it.
dira: Fraser & Kowalski - Their love is so pure because they fuck! (Fraser/Kowalski - Fuck)
Anybody in the US want my copies of the Duet (Fraser/Kowalski) zines? They really ought to belong to someone who will not leave them sitting on the DVD shelf for four years and then go, "Huh. I... still own these." I will happily mail them to anyone willing to give them a good home, cheap as free. Zines rehomed!

Also, lease on the new apartment starts tomorrow (although Actual Moving does not happen until Friday). I've boxed up the last of the books and all the DVDs. Tomorrow's To Do list includes such items as "couch shopping" and "assemble shelves at new apartment" and "pack everything that can be packed".

And yet, what is it that I find myself carefully bracing myself for, and developing meticulous strategies for handling, emotionally? Yeah. Rereading Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow for the first time since I was in high school. (It's my book group's book for April, and we meet on the 9th. I will read pretty much anything for my book group, and I actually have been curious to read it again and see if the impact is anything like the same now that I'm not sixteen and Catholic.)

But seriously, I'm really scared.


dira: Fraser & Kowalski - Their love is so pure because they fuck! (Fraser/Kowalski - Fuck)
They have called this day the Eleventh of March! And whomsoever of you gets through this day, unless you are shot in the head or somehow slain, you will stand at tiptoe when e'er you hear the name again, and you will get excited at the name March the Eleventh!

We happy few, we few, we band of brothers. Our names will be as like household names. And those who are not here, be they sleeping or doing something else, they will feel themselves... sort of crappy. Because they are not here to... to join the fight, on this day, the Eleventh of March!
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
21 – Sequels – Have you ever written a sequel to a fic you wrote, and if so, why, and if not, how do you feel about sequels?

Short answer: Yep! Because there was another story that I thought I would like to write that followed from the first one.

Longer answer:

So, here's the thing. I didn't start out overthinking this question, but I did start out thinking that this question had a very specific meaning. Intuitively, I read this question as meaning, Did you ever, after having written a fic and being all finished with it, then write another fic that was of roughly similar size and seriousness which followed sequentially and necessarily from that fic while also being a complete story in itself?

To which the answer is, yes, about three times, and one of those isn't posted yet. So as it turns out I have all these IDEAS about what the word sequel means.

To me a sequel is something different from a series-planned-as-a-series, in which case while each separate story is--hopefully--a sufficiently standalone story that people will not do themselves or me an injury while waiting for the next bit, the reason I keep writing subsequent stories is because the story isn't over yet. That's not the same as "the story was done and then I wrote another story that followed from the first one." So, in my head, the GK wolf-verse doesn't count, nor does The World That You Need, nor Brothelers, nor all those Hawks & Hands prequels, even if they do make me the internet's most prolific Kowalski/Gardino writer.

Speaking of which, The Future in Five Conversations also doesn't count. It's not a sequel to Hawks & Hands, even though it follows necessarily from H&H while also sort of standing on its own as a story because it's not the same magnitude of story. It's a coda, a (five years) belated epilogue tacked on at the end. If I had ever written the epic OT3-trapped-in-Ancient-Egypt story that With the Dying was setup for, it would have been the same thing in reverse.

So, as far as I can tell from a cursory look through my works on AO3, the only stories that do count as sequels in my head are:

Rumored, sequel to Unannounced (House/Wilson outside POV), and
Tell, sequel to Common Language (Stargate SG-1 Bechdel fix-its for the pilot).
Arguably also Spades, which doesn't have to be a sequel to Hunde (Spy Game, Muir/Bishop), but might as well be.

Plus, of course, The One I Haven't Posted Yet, which is a (GEN) sequel to Signals That Sound in the Dark.

All 30 questions under the cut )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Nate - Watchful)
20 – Do you ever get bunnied from other people's stories or art in the same fandom?

Stories, occasionally, although I almost never write the stories I come up with that way.
There are a couple of obvious exceptions--I wrote a fix-it sequel to the second most depressing Fraser/Kowalski story ever. I also did a remix once.

But usually I get bunnies contrariwise, from the negative space of stories. I find myself thinking, you know, "There are all these stories about Brad showing up on Nate's doorstep, I want to write a story where Nate shows up on Brad's."

(Are there stories about Nate showing up on Brad's doorstep? Inasmuch as Brad has a doorstep, which I guess is sort of the logical problem there. Um. ANYWAY.)

I don't think I've ever gotten bunnied from art--I mean, fanart is probably responsible for me crying over Boromir for half an hour the first time I saw Fellowship, and it's responsible for me getting into Due South in general, but, idk. I never feel like I'm seeing much fanart for fandoms I'm actually in. I suspect that I am out of the fanart loop.

All 30 questions under the cut. )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Gerard - Gerard by supp_nads)
12 – Have you ever attempted an "adaptation" fic of a favorite book or movie but set in a different fandom?

Assuming that "adaptation" refers to the sort of AU where you recapitulate the plot arc and character roles of your source text with the characters from another fandom, then, yes, although never at the length of an entire book or movie.

Gerard and Rapunzel is a retelling of Rapunzel with the My Chem boys (version 2.0, with Bob). Also with 100% more genderqueerness, threesomes, and approximations of Medieval Christianity than I have ever seen in a telling of the fairy tale.

The Dead Speak: Charlie Eppes is a pastiche of Douglas Coupland's vignettes called "The Dead Speak" from Life After God--you can read the originals on this hideously ad-riddled website if you scroll down near the bottom of the page. They are even more gruesome than mine, although mine fits in an incest pairing right before all the apocalypse and horrible death. Yay?

Off to See the Wizard is an adaptation of the Stargate Atlantis episode "Grace Under Pressure" (which itself was a sort of adaptation from the SG-1 episode "Grace") in which a concussed character in trouble (Greg from CSI, in my version) hallucinates someone he knows (and has the hots for) who helps him solve the problem he faces (Gil).

(Now I really want to write "Grace Under Pressure" and "The Dead Speak" fic in every fandom, and by every fandom I mean Generation Kill.)

Ahem. There is also the one that I THOUGHT I was writing as an adaptation and which I assume no one in their right mind would ever recognize as such. When I was a kid I used to watch the Sunday afternoon Doris Day/Rock Hudson movies with my mom, and I remember many of them vaguely but fondly, and at some point after getting into slash fandom it occurred to me to try to recast Send Me No Flowers (to be clear: a screwball romantic comedy) as a Due South story. The essential premise is that Rock Hudson is a hypochondriac who becomes convinced that he's really dying this time, and so he starts making plans for his wife so that she won't be lonely when he's gone. Hijinks, as they say, ensue.

I honestly don't remember much about the movie beyond the premise--I mean, I vividly recall the bit in the doctor's office where Rock Hudson becomes convinced that he's going to die, and then everything else is a bit of a blur.

So that was my premise: Ray Kowalski becomes convinced he's going to die, and he has to make plans, particularly as regard making sure Fraser will be okay without him. Um, and the first thing I did was take out all the comedy, because that is generally what I do with any premise that is supposed to have humor built into it. So it wound up being That Good Night: A Death Story, which is surely one of the worst things anyone has ever done to a perfectly innocent Sixties screwball comedy.

All 30 questions under the cut. )
dira: Fraser & Kowalski - Their love is so pure because they fuck! (Fraser/Kowalski - Fuck)
11 – Genre – do you prefer certain genres of fic when you're writing? What kind do you tend to write most?

I actually went and looked up Genre on Fanlore in the course of trying to decide what it meant, but Fanlore just affirms my intuition that this question could be asking two different things, so I will answer both.

1) Genre in the sense of type of pairing (or lack thereof): Slash. I am a slasher. This is not borne out as unequivocally in my writing as it is in my sense of fannish identity--only just over half of my stories, numerically, are labeled as M/M on the AO3. (Although they represent a disproportionately larger word count, as my major epics tend to be slash, wholly or in part.) I actually write a startling amount of gen, and I'm slowly learning to embrace pairings with (gasp!) ladies in them.

But mostly I write slash and prefer slash.

2) Genre in the sense of tone or content of story aside from pairing: Angst. Aaaaaaaaangst. Also suffering. Structurally speaking I like stories where the hurt is comforted and preferably redeemed by some sort of payoff and happy ending and cessation of suffering. But you can't have anything without the suffering; it's all suffering, you see.

This has tended to give me a skewed perception of what I am actually writing when I am writing it--most infamously when I wrote a Due South story (an AU of sorts off of "Good for the Soul") where Fraser spends nearly the entire story in a hospital bed, having been beaten nearly to death. I was convinced the entire time I was writing it that it was fluff.

So: angst. Angst and ONE TIME, JUST ONE SINGLE TIME, a dead puppy.

All 30 questions under the cut. )
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Remember that time it took me 7 years to finish a Stargate fic? Yeah, odds are against me finishing a 30 day meme in anything like 30 days, but I will persevere. Probably.

3 – For each of the fandoms from day two, what were your favorite characters to write?

Okay, well, I listed 49 fandoms on day two, so answering this exactly as asked would get seriously out of control. Instead, under the cut, my favorite characters to write from what I semi-scientifically conclude are my top ten current and past fandoms.

Playing favorites! )

All 30 questions for your meme-repeating convenience. )
dira: My home is not a place ... it is people. (Home is not a place)
So a few weeks ago my external hard drive--where I kept all my music--started dying. I managed to get all the music onto my laptop (and thence onto my shiny new 1TB backup drive), but this also required me to re-import everything into iTunes from the new location (which I dodged doing when I got a new computer thanks to having all the music on the external--I guess it was bound to happen eventually), and in the process I lost a few slowly-accreted playlists including my Aral/Jole playlist. I managed to remember a few obvious songs (the two all the titles come from and Jole's embarrassing country music anthem) but that's about all I've got. It's the saddest playlist ever.

So, if you've read my Aral/Jole stories, rec me a song or two that you think fits them? My SG-1 epic playlist has 38 songs, and Aral and Jole are going to start thinking I don't love them if this keeps up. *g*

(I tend to put songs on playlists of this kind because of lyrical resonance, so don't feel that you have to find something that actually sounds ... Barrayaran. Good God, now I'm trying to imagine Barrayaran pop music. o.O)

Also! In case you are interested in knowing more about my ~FEELINGS~ about any of the characters people requested, my answers to the feelings meme are linked below:

Peter Burke
Colby Granger
Jack Harkness
Daniel Jackson
Ianto Jones
Ray Kowalski
Amy Pond
Gregor Vorbarra
Aral Vorkosigan
Cordelia Vorkosigan
Miles Vorkosigan
Mark Vorkosigan
Ivan Vorpatril
dira: Fraser & Kowalski - Their love is so pure because they fuck! (Fraser/Kowalski - Fuck)

Did I just spend four hours wrangling Hawks & Hands, with its a) stupid, stupid length and lack of actual chapter divisions and b) fucking footnotes omg who thought that was a good idea?

Well, yes. But the point is: now Hawks and Hands is posted on AO3 with its sequel and prequels all nicely linked as related works because I am neurotic about what should and should not be made part of a series, and also now I have a Twix bar. So everyone wins.

(If anyone happens to feel the urge to reread H&H anytime in the nearish future, and you run across, say, a paragraph that got eaten by its footnote, leaving an awkward gap in the text, or ... any other formatting disasters like that, would you please let me know? Just because I already deleted six failed attempts to get it onto that archive doesn't mean I'm necessarily done fighting with it.)

(Also, as it turns out for five years the story has been up on my site with no link to post a comment anywhere, which ... possibly explains the relative rarity of comments on it. Oops.)

This entry is crossposted at http://dsudis.livejournal.com/557206.html.
dira: Fraser & Kowalski - Their love is so pure because they fuck! (Fraser/Kowalski - Fuck)
Posted because I honest to God looked at a calendar this morning and thought "March 11, there's something important about March 11, what is it?" and then ran through the mental roster of family and friend birthdays and couldn't come up with anything.

They have called this day the Eleventh of March! And whomsoever of you gets through this day, unless you are shot in the head or somehow slain, you will stand at tiptoe when e'er you hear the name again, and you will get excited at the name March the Eleventh!

We happy few, we few, we band of brothers. Our names will be as like household names. And those who are not here, be they sleeping or doing something else, they will feel themselves... sort of crappy. Because they are not here to... to join the fight, on this day, the Eleventh of March!

This entry is cross-posted at http://dsudis.livejournal.com/548058.html.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
THIS IS A CLICHE BINGO STORY, THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENED. I kept looking at the Futurefic square and my brain refused to serve up anything but this.

This is also the coda to Hawks and Hands that I had plotted before I finished writing the story and then never managed to write. Until now.

Due South, hockey AU. Fraser/Kowalski. PG-13. 5,700 words.
Many many many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] brooklinegirl and [personal profile] iulia for beta and encouragement!
Ever since Ben had played his last game, six months before, they had exchanged glances in the direction of men who walked down the street, hand in hand and unmolested by passersby. There had been significant changes of channel regarding sitcoms, pointed clearings of throats over entertainment news... and now this.

The Future in Five Conversations )
dira: Daniel Jackson in profile against a blue sky. (Daniel - Wordless)
Sooooo I kind of accidentally attended WisCon this weekend--Oops... )

Oh, and I left Madison without getting a tattoo even though it did sound like kind of a fabulous idea at various points through the weekend (there was a holiday sale on and everything) and I could totally have blamed it on [personal profile] commodorified and [personal profile] fairestcat and their awesome text tattoos. And I saw [personal profile] ellen_fremedon and [personal profile] bipagan and [livejournal.com profile] jessica_freely and did not feel compelled to blame them for anything, which may mean that they need to blame me for things instead, idk.

Also, as one does, I started reading Here Be Hippogriffs from the beginning, which was in 2004. It's an infertility/parenting blog - not to trivialize this woman's real life which has included struggles I cannot imagine, but it's like real-life kidfic, precocious child and happy ending and all! Aaaand I stayed up until 2AM reading it last night and am still not done yet.

So, uh, that's what I've been up to. And you?

ETA of *facepalm*: and finally met, and crashed with (and made exclamations of "You taught me how Archie Kennedy's pants work!" and "Of course I remember that Due South regency AU you were writing!" to) [personal profile] damned_colonial!


Feb. 12th, 2009 09:58 pm
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (F/K FUCK by Heuradys)
I just remembered that I was, sort of, by proxy and implication, in a way, slashing John McClane (with Al, naturally) before slashing John McClane was cool. See, a couple of years ago I posted this during WIP Amnesty - it would have been a multi-crossover action-adventure farce, Fraser/RayK of course, and for reasons that do not need exploring at this juncture, it was going to behoove Fraser to be carrying a gun. Fraser didn't want to and Ray had to persuade him, and this is how I had Ray pitch it. )

So, uh. Yes. There we have it. I have always been headed toward writing Die Hard slash. \o?


Nov. 2nd, 2008 12:15 am
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Three and a half minutes into the third episode of Life:

So Charlie Crews is kind of like Benton Fraser, if Fraser were a) American and b) overtly crazy. Or. If everyone around him were actually aware of how overtly crazy he was. Or. If everyone around him cared how overtly crazy he was. Or.

So Charlie Crews is kind of like Benton Fraser, if Fraser were a) American and b) less prone to randomly start singing in public. At least until season three. Which gives me another year or so to figure out why Charlie randomly singing in public = probably kind of adorable, while Benton Fraser randomly singing in public = OH GOD JUST STOP.

Anyway: yes, [livejournal.com profile] daveamongus, you told me so, and your reward is that I will be requesting Charlie/Ted for Yuletide. I hope you're happy.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (www.homophobie.org by Heuradys)
I have been horribly remiss in not mentioning this sooner--thanks to the efforts of [livejournal.com profile] zabira and several other people in bidding for a podfic recording in the last Sweet Charity auction, [livejournal.com profile] fanfic_read_by has recorded my DS hockey AU, Hawks & Hands, as an unabridged twenty-six hour podfic.

She's been posting in parts for the last several weeks, but the entire podfic is up now, so if you've got any very long drives coming up (or, like me, you are simply in awe of the amount of work that's been put into this mammoth undertaking) you can check it out at her lj now.
dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (www.homophobie.org by Heuradys)
For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I just dug up and dusted off the little bunny that would have constituted the epilogue to Hawks & Hands, had I ever properly written one, and posted it as a very rough sort of little commentfic. So, you know. If anyone's interested in that:

Hawks & Hands: The 1996-97 Season


dira: Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (Default)
Dira Sudis

April 2019

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