Home from work and watching the two-part finale of Criminal Minds from last season. I've only made it 7 and a half minutes in and it is time for a little Geography lesson.
It's a lesson about
Michigan Geography, so you don't even need a map! You just need to look down at your left hand (palm down).
Lower Michigan looks kind of like that. We call it the mitten. All around the outside of your hand are borders defined by rivers and lakes. Draw a line across the base of your hand and everything south of that is Indiana (toward the pinky finger) or Ohio (toward the thumb).
Detroit (a place you may have heard of!) is located halfway along the first bone of your thumb: halfway between your wrist and the knuckle, right on the edge of the mitten.
Port Huron, a place you probably have not heard of, is located at the middle joint, below your thumbnail, also right at the edge of the mitten.
Depending on what part of Detroit and what part of Port Huron we're talking about, this is a distance of about sixty miles. It's a pretty straight shot on I-94 and there's not much traffic at night, but still: SIXTY MILES. Trust me, I know, I grew up near Port Huron and went to high school near Detroit and the commute between them is burned permanently into my brain.
Now! Detroit and Port Huron have some things in common. Each is a city on the edge of the mitten, beside a river. Detroit is on the
Detroit River. Port Huron is on the
St. Clair River. Neither of these rivers is very wide, and on the opposite sides of these rivers, in both cases, is a mystical land called
Canada, represented in the mitten diagram by the empty space next to your left hand.
In Detroit, you cross the Ambassador Bridge or take the [does it have a name?] Tunnel to cross the
Detroit River into a city called
Windsor in the province of Ontario, in the mystical land of Canada.
In Port Huron, you cross the Blue Water Bridge (there are now two of it and they don't match, it's kind of stupid, but it's all the Blue Water Bridge) into a city called
Sarnia in the province of Ontario, in the mystical land of Canada.
Even if, for some very good or perhaps totally crazy reason, you decided to drive the sixty miles from the Cass Corridor in downtown Detroit to the Blue Water Bridge in Port Huron in order to cross into Canada and dispose of a body,
when you get across the border from Port Huron you will not be in Windsor. And if you decide to drive sixty miles with a body in your trunk instead of 0.6 miles, that had better be a plot point.
Ahem.
I'm going to go see how much more of the episode I can watch before I come back and rant at the internet some more about people being wrong on the television. I have a feeling Prentiss and Morgan's visit to Detroit might make a vein pop out of my forehead.
This entry is crossposted at http://dsudis.livejournal.com/524504.html.